LMFAO

An Actual Letter:

If Your Child is a Gothic, Reform Through the Lord!
Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may
have gone astray from the Lord.

Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture
leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness,
and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five
or more of the following are applicable to your child:

-Frequently wears black clothing.

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.

-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.

-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other
Satanic
worshipping symbols.

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn
Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the
Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the
Bible,
prayer, church or sports.

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult,
witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

-Takes drugs.

-Drinks alcohol.

-Is suicidal and/or depressed.

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.
(This
is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God
and
His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local
mental
health center.)

-Complains of boredom.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

-Is excessively awake during the night.

-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may
speak
to evil sprits through meditation.)

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an
adult.

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are
but a few examples of this.

-Misbehaves at school.

-Misbehaves at home.

-Eats excessively or too little.

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of
this.

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires
believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and
should be stopped immediately.)

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask
your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer.

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology,
Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various
phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".

-Claims to be a goth.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene
immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within
it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your
local
mental health center.

~St. Mary's Catholic Church

LMFAO!

Leave it to the catholic church. my bible says red and yellow black and white they are precious in his sight. i don't approve of the lifestyle but who am i, or who is any singular man a right to just flat out outlaw a group and anyone involved in a group?

i tell you what, that burns me up. it's me and God, i don't need some dude 1500 miles away telling me what God says. who, i might add, doesn't even know me.

"-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this."

lol! That one was my absolute favorite. But seriously, I mean, I don't exactly dig the whole blood-drinking, satan-worshipping, love of death thing...at all... but half of these simply describe teenagers. "Complains of boredom?" "Wears band T-shirts?" "Interest in piercings?" "Demands privacy?" That implies hormones, not hellfire. I mean, at least 14 apply to me, and I'm a nerdy little girl who likes books. Must mean I'm holding seances in my basement on the solstice. (Which was last night, actually. Wait, does knowing that make me wiccan?)

David, I like you : )

Haa haa =D it looks like were all doomed :P
Whoop Whoop.......

Catholics are against practicly anything that isnt in the holy book which was probly writen by some weirdos trying to CONTROL THE WORLD MWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!

Um lol every teenager has at least five of those

And since when is "philosophy" a "dangerous cult religion?'

wow.

p.s., though, I think it's safe to say that most catholics or catholic churches are NOT like this.

Every teenager can or is like that

Clinicaly depressed, gay, music....so on and so on

Holy mary save me

'Complains Of Boredom'
Hehehehehe..I won't ever get out of hell then

"Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology,
Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism"

^Since when is Philosophy a religion? lol

And I agree with David.

What's wrong with all that though? HEY! I'm a Scientologist! I'm not crazy or anything! maybe a little but I defend my religion. lol What's wrong with wearing black? It's a COLOR.

LMAO!! LOL!! This one realy had me laughing.. its funny yes but some of it is infact true.. I thinl I counted more than 5 of these qualities in me!! OMG!! am I gothic? lol no am not just a bit insane!! Please let me know if you have anymore of these Jokes ..

That made me laugh sooo hard. Seriously, I have at least 10 of those myself. haha...Thats too great.

I have 33 out of 36 of the "symptoms" xD

since when is Buddhism a dangerous cult? o_O

You know what if I had a goth son, I would pat him in the head and say...Well at least you're one step higher than the emo's...

If I had a goth daughter, I would pat her in the head and say, you're pretty, but you'd be more pretty with more makeup...

But then again, I would rather have a goth son or daughter than those children that say "Oh my Gosh, Let's totally abstain from sex, until we're married...And make it into a fad"...

Bluggh...Disgusting...

Well take a number cos crazy is in this season...

I relate to 25 of those signs... so am I like super-Goth or something? lol. My parents do call me Gothic though. But counseling? Come on, way too extreme. Just because someone listens M. Manson and HIM and does Wicca, doesn't mean they need counseling... (ps I'm LMAO too!)

Caltholics are like squrrels. they see something different and they run away, then they send out letters informing everybody that if you are different your going to hell!

I wonder if they have to stop eating GOTH cereal... what would they eat? Is there a Catholic cereal out there that I dont know about? I mean... why not - there's a market out there for it obviously... just imagine all the little Catholic boys and girls flocking to their nearest supermarket to buy the latest St Nicholas crispies... made out of whole grain wheat and eaten only with Holy Milk.

I do agree that most teenagers have done at least 5 of these things. In fact, I think I've done about 12.

But please be careful about some of things that have been said. I am not Catholic myself, but some things said in this forum are quite harsh and could easily offend someone of that religion.

Allright first of all there all some thing that for one every single teen on earth does, second half of them aren't gothic and EVERYTHING is considered satnism in thees idiots eyes this is the kind of shit that puts relgions on evil maps, WICCA is listed as a branch of stanic rituals.

So every teen askes for time to them selves. Most teens were band tees. Everyone goes through that fase when they go through every single genre of music to see what there tastes are. And what is a reversed cross?? Pentacles have a much deeper history than Wicca and Paganism.

I swear these people will do ANYTHING to get a good laugh.

~It's all just a big cosmic joke anyway, well all be let in on it when we die!!!!!!!!~

Wow this is so bad! :) Goth related foods? Symbols? I swear people don't even do their research. The pentagram is not evil. The upside down pentagram is evil. The right side up one is all for god. Most "goths" don't know this though so hey they could believe it's evil and not even know it. What was it? They said five or more of these and your child could be gothic? Geesh! They listed a bunch of crap! Sure some things kids do are strange and sometimes they should be discouraged but this is ridiculous. Everyone dances in a sexual manor. I don't approve of it but I'm not saying that they're goth because of it. Goth isn't always the whole Satan thing. Sure some of it is but some people just like band tees, light hurts their eyes, computer is awesome, and maybe a few disorders. Geesh this is so....I can't even say it. You know. :)

LMFAO - This is like, most teenagers, and probably some adults too. =)

Oh I don't believe anyone has to go under that stereo type let alone any others. For a while I went under part goth because everyone convinced me that I was but then I thought "Whatever I'm me and they can't tell me any differently!" I started to wear black a lot in 7th grade and my friends were asking "What the heck are you going goth or something?" Then I started to be very sad all of the time so I thought what the heck. Let's go with it for a while.

Haha, some of those were pretty funny

"Complains of boredom" lmao, who doesn't?

Ahhh Catholicism you slay me.

I agree with the narrow minded catholic.... they are to stuck up and they need to pull their heads out of there @$$... and i'm all but one which is doing the drugs i don't have to have drugs to be able to tourcher the innocent.... lol

It's true anyone could be like that under any religion. It's just usually Catholics are a more...Extream version. :)

"de omnibus dubitandum"
everything is to be doubted.
-Friedrich Nietzsche. 1844-1900, "Beyond Good and Evil"

According to this, I am gothic, and "my spiraling path of destruction must be stopped!" Really? I am the most gentle, non-depressed church-person. I just like black clothes...

And kick ass music!

(minus super-Satanic death stuff)

Hmm..
I am a catholic.
and that is fucked up.
I completely believe in god[[no satanism stuff at all]
but im sorry..
Boredism?
black?
not wanting to be with parents?
thats a teenager for you.
not a messed up person.

Welp, guess I'm gothic times 3. Woe is me :)

-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn
Manson...)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the
Bible,
prayer, church.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness.
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, and nuns are
but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats excessively or too little.
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the
computer.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Philosophy...

The list of what I CANNOT identify with, would have been shorter.

I guess we're all gothic. We should start a santanic pact. We should do a sit-in at a church and wear black clothes, eat gothic cereal, while being bored. We'll kill 'em with that! I'm full of demons! Grr! Look at that evil picture of me! Doesn't it make you shiver, and die (if it does I aplogize and will pay for funeral costs)?! Wait no it can't because all of you guys are evil too! Yay!