Blonde Jokes for Blondes like me

two blondes walk into a bar.

You would have thought one of them would have noticed it!

hahahaha i just laugh my head off at that one! dnt ask y lol.

I'm blonde and I act it!!!!!!

what do you call 20 blondes on top of each other?
an air bed

what do you call 7 blondes stood ear to ear?
a wind tunnel

what do you call 3 blondes in a freezer?
frosted flakes!

3 women...in a bar...blonde, brunette, redhead...
brunette turns round and says..im so loose my boyfriend can get a whole hand up me
redhead says im so loose my b/f can get 2 hands up me...
the blonde just slides down the bar stool!

i have more if you want them!!!!!

HAHAHAHA

more please!

How can you tell if a blonde is having a bad day?

Her tampon is behind her ear and she can't find her pencil...

haha, loves it!

ewww hahhahahaahahaha "dadadadadaaa I'm luving it!"

why was the blonde's belly button bruised?

her b/f was blonde too!

a blonde walked into a tim horten's and bought a coffee, hoping to win a prize in the "roll up the rim to win" contest... so she gets her coffee and rolls up the rim and she starts screaming "I WON A MOTOR HOME! I WON A MOTOR HOME!" one of the workers, looking confused, says "that isn't possible because that isn't even a prize..." but she's still screaming "I WON A MOTOR HOME! I WON A MOTOR HOME!" one of the workers takes her cup from and reads the rim... it says "Win a Bagel"

get it?!?!? Lol

how do you get 3 blondes on a bar stool?

TURN IT UPSIDE DOWN!!!!!!!!

There's two blondes on either side of the lake, and one blonde calls to the other ... "How do I get to the other side?!" And the other blonde responds, "You are on the other side!"
Get it!?!?! ha..

A blonde walks in to a salon and wants to get her hair cut. She's wearing headphones, and the stylist decides that it's too hard to cut her hair with headphones, so she asks the blonde to please remove them. When she doesn't respond, the stylist removes them from her head. About two minutes later, the blonde turns blue, keels over, and dies. The stylist picks up the headphones, puts them on, and hears "In....... Out" etc.

Why did the blonde have square boobs? ... She forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

Why did the blonde jump out of the window? ... She wanted to see if the wings on her maxi pad really worked.

That's enough for now. I hate degrading myself! haha

What Do U Call A Blonde With 1 Brain Cell?
-lucky

What Do U Call A Blonde With 2 Brain Cells?
-pregnant

What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?
A brain tumor.

Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.

Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
She burned her lips on the tailpipe.

i dont get the bagel one?

yeah I'm confused about that one....

Anyway the rest are wickid, keep them coming!!!!!!! x

Why cant blondes make ice cubes?
Because they dont have the recipie!

A Redheaded Mum walks into her daughter's room, finds a beer bottle and says, "I never knew my daughter drank!"

A Brunette walks into her daughter's room, finds a pack of cigarettes and says, "I never knew my daughter smoked!"

A Blonde Mum walks into her daughter's room and finds a condom.

She says, "I never knew my daughter had a penis!"

A blonde and her brunette friend were talking. "I hate all the blonde jokes people say."

"Oh, they are only jokes. There are allot of stupid people out there. Here I'll prove it to you."

So they went outside and hailed a taxi driver."Please take me to 29 Nickle Street to see if i'm home." said the brunette.

The taxi drove them and when they finally got out the brunette looked at the blonde and said. "See that guy was really stupid."

"No kidding." Replies the blonde, "there was a pay phone just around the corner, you could have called instead!"

If a blonde and a brunette fell out of an airplane, who would land first?

The brunette; The blonde would have to stop and ask for directions.

A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he enter the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, "T-G-I-F".

He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T".

She looked at him, puzzled, and said, "T-G-I-F" again. He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T."

The blonde was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F" another time.

The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, "S-H-I-T."

The blonde finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F. It means Thank Goodness It's Friday.' Get it?"

The man answered, "S-H-I-T......Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday."

there are loads of blonde jokes go to
www.uselessknowledge.org and then click on humour nd then jokes

Never fear! I am here to explain the "win a bagel" joke.

See, she says "I won a motor home!" when it really says "win a bagel".

Well, there's a certain type of motor home called a "Winnebago".

Hehe..get it? Winnebago...Win a bagel....

haha! hilarious!!! hehe! keep em comin guys!

wow-did anyone notice that once I post something (like the above) the conversation seems to stop...lol...hmm...maybe 2 posts will counter the effect!! lol

Extrmly Bord!
Sierra Rae

Here we go! It's still alive!

A blonde walks into a bar, and sits down next to a man. The man taps her arm and points up at the TV. On the TV, there's a man on the news getting ready to jump off of a bridge, and commit suicide. The man sitting next to the blonde says,
"I bet ya 20$ that man jumps." The blonde replies,
"You're on." Sure enough, the man kills himself.
"Well, what's fair is fair," says the blonde, handing a 20$ bill to the man next to her. The man gently replies,
"I can't accept that. I watched the 5:00 news, so I knew he would jump off anyway." The blonde, still insisting that she lost, said,
"So did I, but I didn't think he'd jump again!"

~Ciao Lipton

LMAO ahaha these are some funny jokes ahah okie I have a few,

What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? the blonde works in the dark

what does a blonde put behind her ears to be more attractive?....her ankles

what does a screen door and a blonde have in commen? the more you bang it the looser it gets

what do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside down? 2 burnettes

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? is it mine?

There once was a blonde who was very tired of blonde jokes and insults directed at her intelligence. So, she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, got in her car, and began driving around in the country. Suddenly, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car and went over to the shepherd who was tending to them."If I can guess the exact number of sheep here, will you let me have one?" she asked. The shepherd, thinking this was a pretty safe bet, agreed."You have 171 sheep," said the blonde in triumph. Surprised, the shepherd told her to pick out a sheep of her choice.She looked around for a while and finally found one that she really liked.
She picked it up and was petting it when the shepherd walked over to her and asked, "if I can guess your real hair color, will you give me my sheep back?"The blonde thought it was only fair to let him try. "You're a blonde! Now give me back my dog."

You would be AMAZED to know how many blonde jokes i found that were knew to me...ahaha

A blonde was driving along a country road, listening to the radio. The D.J. was telling blonde jokes one after the other, and she got extremly pissed off and turned of the radio.
She continued down the road, and in a field she saw another blonde in a canoe trying to row across the field. She stopped and got out of the car, and yelled across to the other blond, "It's Blondes like you who make everyone think I'm stupid. If I could swim, I'd come out there and give you a piece of my mind!"

Q. What's the difference between a blonde's brain and a box of rocks?
A. Nothing

Q. What did the blonde do after she brushed her hair?
A: Pulled up her pants.

Q. How does a blonde kill a fish?
A. She tries to drown it!

Q. What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A. Gifted

There was a blonde a brunette and a redhead and all three were in the middle of a war. One by one they were brought out to be shot. As the men aimed their guns at the redhead, the leader began - "ready, aim..." when suddenly the redhead yelled "tornado!!" and ran off. The brunette was brought out, the men aimed their guns - "ready, aim..." and the brunette yelled "flood!" and ran off. The blonde was then brought out. The men aimed their guns, "ready, aim..." and then the brunette yelled, "FIRE!"

This isn't a joke it's actually something i said... i was standing outside with my school bag, ready to leave for school. There were some bricks being stored down in the burning pit, and it was pouring down with rain. Stupid person that i am, i then said to my mum, "d'you think the bricks'll survive the rain?"

And i'm not blonde =P lol

A blonde suspects her husband is cheating on her, so she follows him to a hotel, on her way there she buys a gun. The blonde opens the room that her husband as checked out and saw him with another woman
Husband: No honey dont do it
Blonde(while holding a gun to her head):Shut up cuz your next

How Do You Kill A Blonde?

Put A Scrach And SniffSticker At The Bottom Of A Pool.

Hey Kirill!! if youre still there...call me!!!

~*~Stephanie~*~

Wow..I love them all...I don't have any to say, I do, but I'm sure they've all been said =\.

A mini van is thrown off a cliff and four blondes die. What is the tragedy?

A mini van can hold eight