Someone please

I need help. i need you to give me your wisdom, your knowledge. i opened up for the first time to someone and after two months of having an amazing boyfriend with an amazing relationship he's telling me he thinks love is fake, he misses being able to kiss whomever without feeling guilty, he just doesnt know and that he only said he loves me because thats what i want to hear, because he thinks love is fake and he'll never find 'her'. So now im hurt worse than any time before because i bared my soul and loved like id never been hurt and it backfired, we're not broken up but im almost positive that if hes acting this way we will be soon. so i need your help on either how to not let this hurt, how to get over it, or how to fix my relationship with a confused person.

please, disregard my age as well, i know im young but ive been through more than many people both with relationships and outside of them and it has caused me to be mature for my age and not be the stereotypical teenager.

please tell me how to not feel so hurt.
and such.
thank you.

He reminds me of me, besides the whole snogging other people part . Just the thinking love is fake & all . He could just be sick of everything . Could be getting a blast from the past -- really thinking into everything . If he keeps acting like this though, and its hurting you, end it . Take a break . And see how you guys go being apart . It'll give you both a break, and for him to just think more .

..__MiNDYY

Maybe he is scared that if he falls in love with you, that he will just end up hurt.
I agree with Mindy that maybe you should try and take a break. Maybe he just needs to realize that he does love you.
But I think that he is just scared to love. And maybe you should try and reassure him that your not going to hurt him. Make sure that he knows you love him =]
And how did he tell you this? Jw.

I think it's just an excuse. I've tried it before. It's all bullshit of course. When I did it...it was just so that I can break the break-up to the girl later on. Sorta getting her prepared I guess but with lies. It doesn't work...haha...-_-

If I'm right...I really hope you'll get over it soon. It would suck..but you'll be alright. Time dulls everything...even love or the lacking of.

Ok so, i told him i wanted to have a break, and the second i said it he was practically crawling back to me lol... and he was adamant we stay friends like the first time we broke up.. and we said hes still gonna come over tomorrow as planned before we broke up.. so im going to the mall first and getting new clothes and im gonna dress up and make him go crazy... which i know he will he even told my friend 2 seconds after we broke up he was mad at himself for doing tht cuz he knew hed miss me... lolz. and i know not being able to kiss me or anything tomorrow is gonna drive him wild... so i guess breaking up was the best thing... now i guess i have to play ridiculous mind games.... *sigh* wish me luckk.

Good luck!
I will work.
Trust me, it will have him crawling right back to you.
And yeah.
Let me know how everything goes, PM me okay?

WELL MAYBE YOU DONT NEED TO BE WITH HIM IF YOU KNOW THAT YOU GUYS ARE ON TWO DIFFERENT LEVELS IF YOU KNOW THAT HE DOESNT LIKE BEING BASICLY FAITHFUL. BUT THE THING IS YOU LOVE HIM SO LET HIM KNOW THAT HES HURTIN YOU AND IF HE DOESNT CARE THEN LET HIM GO IF HE DOES CARE THEN YOU WILL SEE A CHANGE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP FOR THE BETTER

Bahhhhh
so im crying right now
because me and him just had a LONG talk,
along with him talking to my two friends [one of his exes, oddly enough] and between talking to me and talking to them he spilled out that '"jus b4 we broke up tht whole convo wz a lie i didnt meen nuttin i kno wat love is its jus im scared tht i found the right one finally'
which literally made me speechless.
so he told my friend [god bless her, she is such a great mediator] that tomarrow, when i see him, hes goign to do something sweet and ask me back out because he cant stand 1. knowing he hurt me and 2. not being with me
so i am bawling my eyes out
because my relationship wasnt built on a lie.
i didnt waste my time.
and im not a moron.

Girls...-_-...
Sometimes you're so senseless that it's adorable haha. Glad I was wrong :) Congrats. I'd have to say though, I don't really see why he had to do all that...

He sounds like one of those drama people.

I don't get why he would say all those things that upset of he didn't mean them. Nothing good can come from that, seriously..

Well this time im gonna be a little more guarded, of course, but i have to take him back. he didnt intentionally hurt me and obviously cares to the point where he was crying in front of his whole group home.

lol, what do you mean were so senseless? =]

^that especially means something because he works hard to keep up this 'tough guy' persona, 'nothing fazes me anymore' blah blah blah.
well i guess i do.
and i cant picture my life without him. obviously nothing lasts forever. but someone who makes me as happy as he does deserves another shot.

I know its really hard.. if your boyfriend is also your age.. i can see why he is saying that.. most guys dont want to commit right away.. they want to have fun and "play the field" and it sucks for us girls that want to get a steady relationship going with a guy that we really care about, i've been in the situation.. he believes everything about love.. but he did want to be able to be with other girls too.. i had to give him his space and time.. and sooner or later.. he came back to me.

Opps sorry for not reading all of the posts.. just read the one about your conversation.. im very happy for you, that's adorable.. my boyfriend kind of was the same.. he wanted to have fun.. but yet he was afraid to commit to me... but now its been 9 months (with no breaks) and 3 years (with two breaks)... and we are still going really strong...

Yeah. also i didnt mention that hes 16 slightly older than me [about 1 1/2 yrs]... which i have heard is the 'confused' stage lol...

Hmm..is everything finally working out now? What happened when you saw him?..

Well
when i got home from summer school he was at my house helping my mom with the pool, which was a big surprise to see him there because hes not supposed to be here till 730.
so i had just gotten out of gym, my hair and makeup a wreck and such.
and we were talking and laughing like friends and what not, and a couple hours later he saw my pants, which had 'steve loves danielle 5-18-07' written on them by him. then he started acting sad and such and i kept asking him what was wrong, and he wouldnt tell me. and finally as i was walking him to the fence i asked him one final time before he left and he grabbed me and kissed me, then pulled back and looked at me and said 'i love you'
and me, shocked, took me a second, but in what whisper voice i could muster up [when im shocked i cant talk] i said 'i love you too...'
and then he really had to go get back to the group home or hed be in trouble, so he just said 'ok well ill call you later then before i come over okay' and iwas like 'uhhh okay' and i went in the house and sat for 20 minutes staring at the wall confused.
so im not sure what will happen next...

Well I am guessing you will probably get back together.
Or are you already back together?
I'm confused. Lol.
But if he wasn't supposed to be there yet then he must realize that he was dumb and he never should have said the things he said.

But if he wasn't supposed to be there yet then he must realize that he was dumb and he never should have said the things he said.

huh?

I confused myself.
Sorry.

But if I read correctly you said that he was there, but wasn't supposed to come over until 7:30 right?
So he must miss you or why else why would he have come over early?

Okay, I think this guy is playing games with you... some people like attention... He is trying to see what your reaction is to all of this... Or, he could be in love with you and he is scared of what he is feeling for you....

Haha he came over cuz my mom asked him to help with the pool.

Oh.
Lol.
I didn't understand that part.
I'm so slow.
Any new information?

Seducing him will not win his love.

that especially means something because he works hard to keep up this 'tough guy' persona, 'nothing fazes me anymore' blah blah blah.

^ The "bad boys" are the easiest to break :) It's true.

I prefer nerds, they're stronger mentally and have better values.

Ciao!

He is the single most confusing person ever.
but now i have bigger problems on my hands.
hes back in a gang
it was just too much temptation
he wants to be out of that life but doesnt know how.

A gang? All the more reason for you to steer clear, move on, get over him, part ways, split the chicken.

He doesnt know how to not be in that life. but he doesnt want to be in it. thats what shows me its worth helping him. even if were not dating, hes a friend, whom i care deeply about.

I think you should just stop hanging around him. He's a drama-causer and he's bad news. Don't try to change him; just don't even get involved.

Wow... this is a toughy but i went through something sorta similar... so here's what i did...
my boyfriend after about one week told me he loved me... i told him i wasn't ready to say it back because i knew he didnt really mean it...so he didn't say it again for a couple days... when he said it again i told him that i didnt believe him... love doesnt happen that fast... but he still said he loved me & said he meant it... then a couple days later he said he never really meant it... so that hurt really bad... so our realtionship was pretty much on hault... until i could find myself to forgive him for lying about something so big...

so here's my advice... tell him you love him [but only if you mean it] & that he doesnt have to say it again until he's sure of it... take some time [for both of you] to clear your minds... talk to your friends cuz they know you better than any of us on here do... if he still has those feelings of wanting other girls in his life then you're gonna have to let him go otherwise he'll just end up cheating on you... & hunni that hurts worse... the best remedy for this problem is to talk to him about it...
good luck

Icky..WOW your relationship is so very complicated.
but i would say to ask him if he's sure about that 'i love you' cause honestly some guys just throw it around. love doesn't come that easily..

The post above the one above me...
yeah i basically did all that yesterday.
but you know everything works out as it should.
maybe this happened so i could be with my ex

who came back into my life, told me he changed and actually proved it.
hes the one helping me pick up the pieces.
ubt nevertheless
im not ready for a DIFFERENT relationship.
dlgjhergijhtr.

Hmm... well at least you have someone there for you now... it's gonna take time ... be strong

Blahh.
so.
many talks, 2 long notes, my mother, friends, and him crying on my shoulder later,
we're back together.
we were both miserable [obviously you guys knew i was]
and self destructing... truth is we make each other better people.
but i cant help but still be cautious.
it will wear off in time.
thank you all so much.
you did help.

If your ultimate goal is to love, and he doesn't even BELIEVE in it, then maybe he isn't right for you. If he thinks love is fake, then maybe he is just trying to protect himself. Maybe he is trying to keep your expectations low. Maybe he just doesnt know what love is yet. You shouldn't have to bear your soul to someone if they aren't deep enough to understand.

By the way. Intimacy, the way we act when we think we are in love, should be the reward of commitment. It is nice. But its just icing. And when you just eat icing it makes you sick. I say, don't be intimate with someone who "misses being able to kiss whomever without feeling guilty".. in other words, someone who isn't even worth it.

hope everything turns out alright.

Well the novel is still going lol.... oh, my life... so he was tipsy/high when he told me all that and he doesnt remember any of it and now he said we need to talk about it in person tomarrow, but i have no idea what he'll be sayign because everything he told me is like what he told me in the note, which he gave to me in the MORING, before work, which was where he got tipsy/high. sooooo.
ummmm.
ill keep ya posted.
he is so unpredictable.
blahhhh.
im getting used to it.
=/

Long story short: its been a little over two weeks since ive been on, since ive been at a youth shelter for runaways, i was kicked out wahoo... im back home... anywho, on the 18th, which was supposed to be our 2 month, he asked me back out [we talked about the thing when he was high and stuff and he said he didnt want that to count] and etc... that was the day before i got kicked out for personal reasons... anyways rumors and such have been making it rocky for us these past couple of weeks since we've been back together but when i almost broke up with him a few days ago because i heard from some girls that he had been lying about the things we do together and that he said he was having sex with some other girl... and i confronted him about it, we discussed it, and i considered the rumor's source... two girls that want him, duh... so im still being cautious, as i always am, but i think when i confronted him a few days ago and told him i wasnt gonna stick around if he was cheating on me, that scared him a bit [i do know he cares about me.. he's just dumb sometimes].... and we've been almost back to pre-breakup in the past few days.... things are running smoothly.... and i know he's not used to anyone actually caring about him [even his family doesnt, its so sad..] i think hes starting to get the fact that i do, no matter what...

i just thought some of you may like to know, since i have a few dedicated readers... =] thanks for sharing your opinions and stuff... they're still welcome.. after all, relationships are up-and-down.

I think thats really really unfair of the guy. like i know its hard for you, but why would u want to be with someone who treats you that way. if u are going to give everythin and he just gives a small amount, its not fair, you deserve better.