JOKE FOR THE DAY #01

HEY GUYS IF YOU HAVE ANY KIND OF FUNNY JOKES THERE ALL OF YOU WERE WELCOME TO JOIN AND POST HERE

Hehehe kaw ah..

A confused nine-year-old boy goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or
female?"
After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, Well God is both male and
female."

This confuses the little boy, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"

"Well, God is both black and white."

This further confuses the boy so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?"

At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers nonetheless,

"Honey, God is both gay and straight."

At this the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly
asks...

"Is God Michael Jackson?"

Is that a joke? ugh....(joke)

Uhhh... Yes it was a joke actually. =/

Lol.. =P

Hehehehe *chuckles heartily to self* that is hilarious!!!

.:Danielle:.

I thought that it was entertaining. But i mean who really isn't up for a Micheal Jackson joke?

Alright...stupid one, cause I'm tired and can't think of a good one right now:

Two blonds walk into a bar. The question is....why didn't the second one duck?

^^

HA HA

Because there blondes. =p

An 85-year-old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said,
"Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave
him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained:
"Well, doc, it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing.
Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.

Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand,
then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth,
first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing.
We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too,
first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried
squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep. And no matter what we tried,
we still couldn't get the jar open."

A woman was working at a sperm donation center one day when a masked man burst through the door waving a gun around. He yelled as he thrust the gun at the woman, "Give me all your money now!"

Petrified, the woman replied, "Sir, this is a sperm bank. We do not carry money here."

The man stopped, obviously thinking. "Alright, well, drink that cup there," as he motioned with the gun. The woman nodded, and drank the cup of sperm.

"That one too....and that one." Again the woman drank both cups.

The gunman then pulled off his mask, revealing himself to the woman....it was her husband. "See honey? That wasn't so hard now was it?"

A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've wanted so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pajamas."

The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish? He says, "Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Bluegill, and a few Pike. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"

The wife replies, "I did. They were in your tackle box!"

Ok. i got one..

A woman is sitting at a bar.
A man walk up to her and he says, "Can I buy you a drink?"
She replies, "No, thank you. Alcohol is bad for my legs."
So curiously he asks, "Why, do they swell?"
And she says, "No. They spread."

LOL..a little sexual but nonetheless still funny.

Oh another one. i read this one somewhere..

This past fall semester, at Duke University, there were two sophomores who were taking Organic Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes, midterms, labs, etc. Going into the final exam, they had solid "A's."
These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chem. final was on Monday), they decided to go up to University of Virginia to a party with some friends.
So they did this and had a great time. However, they ended up staying longer than they planned, and they didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they found Professor Aldric after the final and explained to him why they missed it. They told him that they went up to Virginia for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way back and didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long time. So they were late getting back to campus.
Aldric thought this over and agreed that they could make up the final on the following day. The two guys were elated and relieved. So, they studied that night and went in the next day at the time that Aldric had told them.
He placed them in separate rooms, handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, which was something simple about free radical formation and was worth 5 points. "Cool" they thought, "this is going to be easy." They did that problem and then turned the page.
They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on the next page.
It said: (95 points) "Which tire?"

LOL =]

JOKE FOR THE DAY

JULY 22,2007

THERE WERE A MAN WHO WERE DRUNK AND WALKING UPON THE STREET...

AT THE SAME TIME THEY WERE A LADY WHO WALKING AT THE SAME STREET...

THE DRUNK MAN SAW THE LADY... AND BECAUSR HIS DRUNK... HE THOUGHT THE LADY OR THE WOMAN WAS HIS WIFE... THEN HE STOP IN FRONT OF THE LADY THEN HUG AND KISS HER FROM LIPS...

THE WOMAN SLAP THE FACE OF THE DRUNK MAN...
THE DRUNK MAN WAS STEP BACK AND SHOCK...
THEN ASK...

MAN: HEY... WHY YOU SLAP ME?

WOMAN: COS YOU KISS ME!!!

MAN: SORRY I THOUGHT YOU'RE MY WIFE!!!

WOMAN: ARE YOU NUT? I WILL NOT MARRY IN IDIOT AND DRUNK LIKE YOU!!!

MAN: SEE? EVEN THE WAY YOU TALK... YOUR THE SAME!!!

(DID YOU GET MY JOKE?)

JOKE FOR THE DAY PART 2

JULY 22, 2007

THE POLICE TALKING WITH AN OLD WOMAN...

POLICE: GRANMA, WHY YOU DIDNOT REFUCE AT THE HOLDAPER WHEN HE GET THE MONEY FROM YOUR UNDERWEAR?!

GRANMA: BULSHIT!!! I THOUGHT IT'S NOT THE MONEY HIS AFTER FOR...

HEHEHE (DID YOU GET IT?)

Heres one. A guy goes into work one morning to find he has a new hot secretary. So he takes notice of her and thinks she is attractive. Well afternoon, the man and his secretary just run off to her house. After they do it, they fall asleep. The man wakes up at 7:00 and thinks oh crap my wife is going to kill me. He was a smart guy So he wakes the secretary and tells her to go rub dirt on his shoes and to make his shirt a little dirty too. So she does. HE goes home with these clothes on and tells his wife, Honey Im not going to lie to you. THis afternoon I slept with my secretary and then we fell asleep and didn't wake up until 7.
His wife said, " you lying SOB, you were out playing golf"

Nice one!!!!!

nice alibi!!!

hehe

good job!!!

Any new jokes there!!!!

Hehe

i see!!!

any new jokes there!!!