Smile. It's easier than . . .

. . . explaining why you're sad.
I can't keep smiling. I have been in and out of the hospital so many times recently, and . . . I don't feel like I can get better. I just want . . . I want people to see what I am, and what I've accomplished rather than always seeing . . . what I've screwed up and what I didn't become. I'm tired of being a freak. I'm tired of people avoiding me because I'm a freak. A mess. A pitiful excuse for a person. I . . . don't know what to do anymore . . . .

Maybe you see yourself as a little bit of a freak too...that could be why others see it as well. One can hide from what they really are...but it doesn't change who they are. If you think your pitful then thats how others will mostly see you. If you wnat them to see diffrent the you need to at least act like your happy....even if your not. But running away from your feelings isn't the answer. One day sooner or later you'll need to face this...how and when is up to you.

I think that your letting others see you that way. If you don't want them to see you that way. Then dont be that way. To me it feels like you think that way about yourself and therefore you show it. You've got to know deep down that your good, that you can accomplish what you want. But if you keep allowing yourself to think your pitiful lyou'll become it. Let your emotions out. Faking them and holding them in is what makes you sad. It's what others see. So... try making yourself happy for a change ingore the rest. to happy with yourself and others will be to.

I only smile wen i really am happy, unless im at school then usually its a fake smile. i've learned it's easier not to have ppl feeling bad for you and messing up theres lives with ur problems...>.<

~*~skYe~*~