Trouble leaving a abusive and controlling parent...

Ok here's my story I'll try keep it short. My mother and father had a messy divorce many years ago and I took my mothers side vowing never to speak to my father again. After many years of mental and emotional abuse and blackmail from my mother I finally know the truth of what really happened with their divorce and I'm trying to break free of the hold my mother has over me. For example she controlls who I see, how long I am out for, who I talk to, what I do and where I work (I'm 18). And its really hard trying to break away. As soon as I'm away from her I panic. No one else is controlling what I am doing and its effing scary. And as soon as I'm gone she goes off the planet. She rings me 5-8 times a day, telling me she is selling the farm, putting all my animals down, and on bad days she tells me she is going to commit suicide and get my younger brother instituionalised (he has Autism). I know its all a work of blackmail trying to get me home but it's really worrying me. I'm terrified, has anyone got any ideas on how to best deal with it? My dad agrees that she's not quite right but he can't really do anything as there is a court order against him.

I think your mother needs help, my parents are going through a messy devorice right now and both my parents are suppose to go to help, i think you should tell her what you think about all this

I think that you should seek help for your mom. Try to help her. It is apparant that something isn't right.
Your 18. You do not have to do as she says anymore. You are a legal adult. She can not control you. Have you talked to your dad about the situation? If not you should try. You shouldn't have to be around that nor should your brother. Threatening to have him instituionalised is not fair to him either. Such things are only going to cause more stress in the family. Maybe your dad could get custody of your brother, at least until your mom has had some kind of help. It's not healthy to be so controlling of your kids and blackmail them.
hope it helps.

Sometimes people can become controlling and manipulative because they're fearful that you're going to leave them. BUT I do believe its the best thing for you to do - move out of the house and prove to your mum that you are still around, that you still love her and care for her... but at the same time you will have to be strong and not give into her blackmail - once she sees that you are not going to give in, she will come around slowly. Do it delicately tho - dont argue with her - be calm and in control of yourself.

EG.

"If you dont come home, Im going to burn the house down!"

Respond with something like "Mum, Im at home, Im eating my dinner. I will see you tomorrow for lunch, ok?"

If you feel that her threats are more than just empty threats then you need to seek help for her - she needs to become free of her insecurities.