Moving in together

My boyfriend is getting an apt. in like, january and he wants me to move in with him, i would love to but, being the logical one in the relationship, i had to stop and think about things like finances and what-not [he has a job, at 15, its hard for me to find one.] and also, this girl i know was dating her boyfriend for 5 years, and they moved in together, and within 2 days they were split up, and i dont want that to happen to us, and ive told him that.
so im wondering, whats your advice on how to live together and make it work, and be healthy? because id ont want one of those things where you get sick of each other.
any advice- much appreciated.
this would be the first time living with a gf/bf for both of us, also.

At fifteen you should be home with mom and dad

Yeah, I would definintly wait until you graduate high school.
Maybe even college.
You could really ruin your life moving in right now.
But if you look at all the aspects and you think that it will work.
Then go for it.
Just make sure that is really what you want
:)

Well see i was going to move out with a friend probably anyways, because of some home situations i'd rather not discuss. but she bailed on me, and i cant do it on my own. i could find another friend i'm sure, but this fell into my lap and seems like... i dont know. something i want to do.

Then do it.
If it will make you happy, then go ahead.
Just make sure it is what you really want.

You both better be financially secured

True.
Plan everything out.

Ready for the emotional aspect?
Have money set up aside in advanced for bills?
Rent money?
Money for food?
Money for clothing?
Money for rides to and from?

That ^ is all the first things that came to mind.
im trying to plan this stuff out.
whichc is why im glad this probably wont happen till around january.
time to save up and stuff.

Like everyone else has said, if it's something you want then go for it.
Until january though I would be saving because when the day does come it is going to be a lot to take on and you want to be financially prepared not to mention emotionally. good luck girl.

I'm more concerned about how to coincide without driving each other insane, because thats what i hear so many couples who live together talking about.

Well if that does happen, then you know it's not really meant to be. I mean, if you can't stand to spend alot of time together...what's the point?

True....
Just make sure your ready,
I have probably said that 3000 times.
Lol
Good luck :)
& I wish you ll the happieness

Lol thanks.
we usually spend almost everyday together anyways [less now that he works alot though =[.. ]
so maybe it wont be such a suffocation problem.
i mean,
im not clingy.
im pretty understanding.
like, our 3 month is on the 18th[we dated before too but dont count it] , which happens to be his dad and stepmoms anniv, and he wanted to go visit them and whatnot but also didnt because he wanted to be with me, and i just told him yknow thats your family and if thats what you wanna do thats fine its not rly a big deal.
tehn he decided to stay here that day anyways so i was like umm ok what was the point in that? lol.
wow but thats off topic.

Wow move in together? no job? how does that work lol. what if you start to get sick of him lol. it happens to a lot of couples. they move in and start to notice weird sh!t about their lover and it becomes annoying lol. wow your too young! donttttt lol

Hahaa mya he has one silly...
i might be able to get one soon. i have connectionssss =]

Lmfao omg okaiii haha

So if you're moving in with your boyfriend now, at age 15. Do you plan on going to college? Without the support of your parents, it's rare for a child to still go to college. Unless they get a scholarship.

If I were you, I'd think things through. Though I know I read before you have family issues.

If you think it will make you happy, then I would do it.
I don't know your full situation to give you any more advice then that.

My mom isnt paying for any of my college funding. she has no way to. hell, she's still in college, or back i shoudl say, doing it on gov. grants. thats what im planning on doing, too, grants.

Oh, well. If she allows you to move in with him, and this is something that you truly want; I would do it.

But also keep in mind, you are only 15. And this is a HUGE step in a relationship. It's not all fun and games all the time. This takes a lot of maturity, and you're gonna have to try to be an adult.

Yeah, i know. i really, honestly do. and thats why im still contemplating it, you know? i want to make the best decision. i dont want to be naive and dumb and young.

I guess when the time is right, you'll know what you should do.

How long have you two been together?

About 5 months all together, including a couple very short-lived breaks. i know it doesn't seem like long, and im not gonna sit here and try to convince you that it doesnt matter, but also, he's getting the apt. in january, so that'll be a few months short of a year for us.

Ok, well if you're still going strong by Jan then it's not so bad. If you're relationship is rocky in that time, I wouldn't move in. If you move in it will make your relationships problems worse.

Good luck.

Thanks.

Someone told me once that you should never move in with a significant other just to get away from your home life, but wait until you really feel you want to and are ready to move in with them.

However, if you are going to do it anyways, then I would say definitely get a job right away. At least cover your financial issues.

As for the emotional part, I'd imagine that is the hardest. Before you guys move in together, you need to have a very in-depth talk about what you both expect to happen. Make sure you keep something for you that is separate from him (example: take up a sport). Just anything really so that you both can have a separate life at times.

Also, I've heard that it's a good idea to discuss who will do what chores. Apparently, that's a big issue when you move out, and can cause a lot of stupid little fights that are unnecessary.

1. Make sure that you're... legally allowed to be living on your own. I might be crazy, but I thought you had to be a certain age, or something. Who knows.

2. It's fine if you bicker. You probably will. Just know that you don't need to spend every single hour with him. Having some of your own space, and him having his, doesn't mean you'd love each other less- you'd just be taking measures to preserve your love. As she said ^ talk before you move in together about your expectations. Even write them down on paper, so you have something to look back on. It may be hokey, but we did this with our college roommates and it helped a lot. Good luck!

Just to tell you u have to be 16 to move out of u parents house that is the legal aage.....im sorry to say but he beetter have onee good of ajob to suport him n you or u guys will just be trash

What my mom and her bf do is that they both have houses. Well lets say like whenever it gets hot in my moms bf's house he comes over and stays here for a while then my mom goes over there and stays for a while but they see eachother everyday n i dont know why they just LIVE together in ONE HOUSE but if it works for them then its alright with me.

Maybe you guys should atleast try it out that way. If something happens at your house then go and stay at your bf's house [in january] for a few days.

I dont get it why would you want to move in with your boyfriend at the age of 15.

Look your at home you don't have to worry about rent (not yet) you have food in the fridge and on the table. Your clothing probably gets washed , ironed and put away for you. you probably get home from school and sit back and watch TV till your parents get home...

umm.. i'm 15 too and i cook for myself and my little sister i do our laudry help with homework... i don't even have time for myself unless it is in the early moring or really late at night... mind you yes i am going to be a mommy... but still i have never had my cloths put away for me since i was the age of 4... i had to do that myself also cleaning my toys up.. if i had a toy on the floor my mom would hide it from me till i kept my room clean for a week and if there was still toys she would hide them... and yes i have thought about moving out and in with my boyfriends.. why because i date older... younger boys are to immature for me

and i have family problems too.. but it isn't me being mad at family or anything it is problems..

It all sounds like a bit of a disaster to me.
You're only 15, you don't have any means of supporting yourself, you've only been with him for 3-5months.

I know that it's possible to be very independent at the age of 15, I've been there.

No one here can tell you what to do, but think hard about it. I moved out with a partner after about a year of our relationship, it's not that everything turned upside down straight away, but slowly we started to fight more, sex became less frequent and it lead to our eventual break up (after 2 years). We decided we hadn't really put enough thought into it. However, that's only a personal experience, and yours may go the total opposite way, maybe everything will go smoothly and work out fine. Just be prepared for the worst, and whatever you do, make sure you have a back up plan.

Even if it doesn't work out in the end, you'll learn from this.

Good luck with whatever decision you make =)

I dont get it why would you want to move in with your boyfriend at the age of 15.

Look your at home you don't have to worry about rent (not yet) you have food in the fridge and on the table. Your clothing probably gets washed , ironed and put away for you. you probably get home from school and sit back and watch TV till your parents get home...

GOD why do you want to move out?

Because your having family problems...wtf everyone has family problems at home. all kids fight with their rents over something.

If you need a break from your parents go visit a family member or your grandparents for awhile.

Even better sit down with your rents PROVE to them you can be an adult and talk about these problems you are having with them or whatever the case may be.

But don't move out because you think it might change your relationship with your bf.

No one , and I dont give a rats ass what ppl say. NO ONE at the age of 15 is ready to move out as much as you think you are...your not..its not easy..its not la la land.

elisabetta

^ this makes me crack up.
when i said 'family problems', i didnt mean my mom didnt let me go to the movies with my friends one day.
i mean serious issues, ones that i dont honestly feel like discussing because thats not the point of this topic.

now.
do understand that i realize that theres a very good chance neither on us is ready, and that it will change our relationship, supporting yourself is hard ect ect...
since i know all this, that's why i came on here for some opinions. if i thought everything would be hunky-dory, i wouldn't have bothered now would i.

so there's been a change of plans.
he's been kicked out of the 'independant living facility' he lived at, and has moved in with me and my mom until he can get on his feet.
this should give me a taste of what it would be like to have an apt. with him.

Oh and for the visiting family and such?
my entire family is made up of drug users and alcoholics.
WHY would i want tp seek refuge with them?
i've sought refuge in a runaway shelter before many times to 'get away' [oddly enough, thats where me and my boyfriend met... lol] still, nothing changes.
and also, i asked my probation officer and he said i could move out anytime i want with parental permission, via state laws.