If not love, then what???

Hello. It's funny how i try to help other people in this forum when i have a problem all along but i never posted about it... until now. Well, if u haven't already read my profile, I had a heart break this year when this girl i *liked* declined my offer to the school formal. But for some reason i couldn't let go of her and somehow she slowly took control of my life. I have changed more this year than i have in my entire life. All of sudden, poetry is a hobby of mine. I listen to music everyday for several hours and b4 she came into life, i listened to like none at all. Moreover, b4 she came, i would stay at home all day, but now i go to the park and look at the stars and i have done SO MUCH charity work, to relieve my pain, that it affected my education. Furthermore, everyday i cannot sleep and eat 'cause she's on my mind. Because of her, i've felt blissful and awful emotions that i've never felt before and all of a sudden i am not shy of girls when b4 i had literally not spoken to girls for 4 years. Ok.. i better get to the point. My question is, how can someone that i've been with for 7 years in school, but in that time i've only spoken with her twice (Yes, i've actually counted), change me so much? Do i love her? PPL say u can't fall in love with someone u don't know, but if not love then what emotion or force could affect me so much??? I've been wondering about this for 9 months, but in the end i get more stuck than ever. Any suggestions are more than welcomed.

lol, definitely teen drama.
You know Bob, I've actually been considering asking her directly, but I've always been afraid of what she would say 'cause my heart could get broken again. But there is more to my story that i need help understanding if u don't mind???
When she rejected going to the formal with me, she told me that she "didn't know me", but also said "I will still talk to you". Now, I'm not sure if that means she wants to give me another chance or doesn't want to hurt my feelings too much 'cause since then we haven't spoken until 7 months later at graduation night where i made my move again and gave her 3 roses, a card and a poem. Here, she said "You're such a wonderful person," but is she saying that 'cause she likes me or 'cause she doesn't want to hurt me. God... I'm so confused. I wish she would say "I hate you," but its hope of a possible relationship that is killing me. Whoever in this forum said "guys are dull," I think you might be right. But i like to think that girls are enigmas. Bob and anybody else is welcomed to help me as well??? Maybe a girl might be able to tell what the girl i like is thinking???

I'm not sure if i can get to know her anymore 'cause this year was the end of high school and next year, we are probably going to do different courses at different university so it would be hard to maintain a friendship. Furthermore, she hasn't given me a number or an e-mail, but i could ask my friends for it, but then i would be stalking her 'cause she didn't give it to me herself. I don't even know why she would want to be friends with me 'cause she is SO much smarter than me and there is this friend of mine who has been a leader, also charismatic and way smarter than her, who has spent more time with her than me. Don't get me wrong, i want to be with her, but I'm just thinkin about the future... that's all. Should i stop thinking lol???

IT GOOD TO THINK OF THE FUTRE, THAS GOOD BUT DONT BECOME TOO OBSESSED THERE! and dnt change urself for her. if sounds lyk uv put in alot of effort, but if she dosnt want to be with u you'll eventually hav to let go, but see how things turn out, i wish u the best, liz

Maybe my friends r right, they say i am to obssessed with her too, but its 'cause i care about her so much. Is that such a bad thing to do? She has changed me in good and bad ways and i didn't mind changing for her. In fact, i was willing to and i knew it would be necessary if i ever wanted to be with her. Somehow she has given my life more meaning, a sense of purpose. Oh dear... i wish she would just talk to me. :( Thx, anyway Alysse for ur good intentions. :)

Thx Hailie for ur response. I had a sense of deja vu when you said "the only way to cure this is to talk to her," 'cause that was actually why i talked to her the second time on the final day that i would see her, and gave her so many gifts. I wanted to make it clear how much i felt for her and hopefully she would give me her number or some form of contact, but she didn't. Thus, afterwards, i said to myself... if she likes me, she would try and talk to me, just like how when i began to talk to her. Am i right? I can't always make the move nor can i chase her for the rest of my life. I am too emotionally exhausted and mentally too. So you could say that all i've been doing since that last time i talked to her was waiting, just waiting for her to call out my name on the street or phone me, but so far, i haven't even seen her. I don't think i can make a move again and talk to her 'cause it would seem like i'm stalking her as i would have to get her number without her permission and also, she hasn't told me that she liked me at all. Oh if i knew that she would try to contact me, then at least i know she has feelings for me and from there i can take things to the next level... not too high of course.
But until then all i can seem to do is wait or let time take her away from me. All of my friends are pushing me to be with her, but they haven't been through what i'm goin through lol.
Oh Hailie, by the way, that was a pretty good poem "your sunshine," it accurately depicted my situation. A 5 from me!!! :)

I am definetely gonna repeat what others have said: talk, talk, talk!! You need to talk to her more, so she knows you better... make a move, or else you will never get out of your confused state.
That's just my opinion. :)

I suppose, but don't get me wrong, i do want to talk to her, but i just...i guess... want her to make a move 'cause maybe the reason why she isn't talking to me is that she doesn't like me. *sigh* i keep looking at the down side of things, but i can't help it after all the pain i've felt. But thank you for trying to help me :) Shadowed Poet.