Following my dreams....?

Hi everyone...didn't know where to post this...sorry if this is in the wrong place...

I've been feeling weird lately, thinking a lot..

I have a problem...

I have a dream, and I don't know how to follow it, or even if I SHOULD follow it...

See, I stay in India, and I stay in a joint family with loving people, in a large city, and we're a really really well-off family financially. My parents are older than most parents....my mother had a problem and I am a test tube baby...

Okay, my dream is to live in a lovely little quiet place. I don't know where that is in India, but I want to leave this hateful hustle bustle of the city. I want to do some soulful work....and I want to live a life of peace, meaning, and beauty...and i want it ALL...a little scrap of beauty in the form of a tiny garden in the city wont do....I want it all, every little sheaf of corn filling an enormous yellow green field....

Very young and idealistic viewpoint maybe, but it is my dream. Along with the dream of having a daughter, which will not be a hard one to achieve. (I'm hoping! hehe) Anyway, in regards to my idealistic dream....

I don't know what to do. The problems are:

-- my parents are really aging quickly...and they need me to be there. In india, sons are expected to stay with their parents. And even if they weren't I'd stick with them for all the love they have given me. It is my duty to take care of them. It's not like the states here in india...we have no healthcare or ANY assistance for senior citizens, they will very soon need me a lot......

-- following my dream would imply leaving my family.

-- I'm gearing up to study engineering. I don't really HATE it, but its definitely not something I can say that I ENJOY.

-- My dad, and his three other brothers jointly run a sharebroking business. I'm not really interested in it as of now...I might be later, but the idea of sitting and crunching numbers kills me.... but they expect me to join it, because since its so huge, someone has to take care of it after them....

****So basically here is a very young boy/man, with a beautiful dream that means a whole lot to him in his eyes, and reflects true happiness to him, versus a whole lot of difficulties, and responsibilities. How can I just give up my responsibilities? Following a dream that way would be just.....coldhearted. I want to be happy, but not at the expense of leaving my responsibilities behind and hurting other people....

My parents can also come with me to that place....I don't know man, I'm just so idealistic right now....have no clue what that place is, but it's just a beautiful place away from the city. I HATE THE CITY....

Any advice??

Okay, well, firstly I have to ask, are you actually seventeen?
I ask this only because it changes things a bit, you know, if you're twelve or something and worrying like this, or if you're a fourty something year old and still looking after your parents.

So I'm going to proceed as if people on the internet actually DO give their rightful age, and actually DO ask for advice on things like this. If this is some sort of attention ploy I will not be very impressed with you, to say the least.

Look, I'm not sure exactly how schooling works in India, but I will say that nothing is worth throwing your life away for. And, yes. I even venture to throw parents into that. You are only obligated to your responsibilities to a POINT. You are, however, indefinitely obligated to yourself.
And, no, I am not saying your responsibilities aren't important. They are. Extremely so. Simply that there must be a balance between the two for obvious reasons.
And from reading your post, it seems like your doing a lot of stuff you don't really want, and to me, that counts as a waste of time.
Look, you can't really leave the city right now, can you?
You can't exactly leave your parents alone right away.
These are the options you don't control, sorry. At least you don't control them, yet.
Studying engineering when you don't really like it too much? Sharebroking?
Lesson 101: if you don't enjoy your job, you won't succeed at it.
Simple as pie. Or figurative pie, at least.

You have other brothers. It isn't SOLELY up to you to ensure your parents futures. Don't put undue pressure on yourself. It's generally a bad idea.

I don't know, as I said, what it's like perse in India. But certainly, rather than listening to some random teen, half a world away, talk to your parents about it. They love you. They'll want you to be happy. And I'm sure that you can work something out.

Does anyone else care to answer?!

" i want it ALL"
how an original dream .....
who wouldn't want it all?
try to be realistic in life

I think you meant 'what'...hehe...kidding...

What I mean by I want it all, is that I will not settle for any compromise in my dream...dude...its my DREAM!

I can understand that, but the chances that life will work out like that are imo kind of unrealistic, one has to constantly make compromises in life , getting it all your way is not going to happen, and the more you want the bigger the disapointment can be if you don't achieve your goals

I'm not going to be deterred just to save myself a little bit of disappointment. I'm going to give it my best shot.

Well Dhaval...

Dreams only come true if you chase it with hard-work and determination. I think your dream is very simple to acheive, and seeing as you are now young, you have all the time in the world to acheive it.

So don't get anxious and try to find ways to get what you are seeking.

I say... do it. I think the biggest thing that holds us back from our dreams is ourselves. Be young, be spontaneous, be idealistic. There's time for realism later. If you are always waiting for a more opportune moment... it won't ever arrive. Best of luck. Peace.

I say... do it. I think the biggest thing that holds us back from our dreams is ourselves. Be young, be spontaneous, be idealistic. There's time for realism later. If you are always waiting for a more opportune moment... it won't ever arrive. Best of luck. Peace.

Why not bring your parents with you? Your dreams would come true and your parents would have a lovely retirement home. Life is very short. Don't let anyone tell you to be, "realistic," because painting with realism can be beauty to one person, and a prison of vagueness to another. Follow your dreams.

I'm in a very different situation, but with quite similar principles...so I'd say I'm in the same boat as you Dhaval. I come from Bangladesh so I'm familiar with the family and cultural difficulties you face.

Our Eastern way of life is fundamentally flawed - the West have long since broken out of the traditional ties of unecessary human traditions such as marriage...perhaps one of the few positive products of our media.

The East however, is still stuck in their traditions, and to leave 'the system', as your dream would inevitably require you to do, would crush you and your family...you know that though...

Both the East and the West's system have their pros and cons, though I'd vouch for the West every day of the year, it's liberal here and that means freedom (for the most part :p)

How old are you? I don't think you should pursue your dream actively within the next few years, but proactively instead. If your parents are old enough, perhaps they will pass over in time for you to pursue your dream. That's a really cold thing for me to say, but think about it; that's the truth, is it not? You won't be able to live beautifully and peacefully with the family in the city. You're a son.

Hmm...there's little help I can offer but I can tell you what I'm doing. I'm escaping the whole damn thing...and moving away from family. That's impossible for you because India isn't England. But slog it out, man, because you can get a wonderful girl and enjoy family life in the city for a bit longer...it is something you will only realise how much you miss when you don't have it. Trust me, I've been there. After a few more years I suppose you will be in a position to decide better which course of action to take...I'm not sure, I don't know how old you are.

You could try talking to parents though I guess that's unlikely. Maybe mention the dream to them casually, start by 'Baba, wouldn't you like to live...' and see what they think. Maybe that'll give you some insight.

Good luck.

Thanks for the insight, Nuovo, but I don't think I'm going to think along the lines of the death of my parents.

Just by the way, they agree to my dream. They'd come with me.

^ That's wonderful! Are you going to make it happen?

Yep! I'm not even going to try...it MUST happen...I'll pursue it till it does...but I hate talking in abstractions while seeking a solution, so I'm actually planning steps from now...first of which is to get an education that is amazing, and diversified...so work and money won't be a problem later. The next is to get a lovely wife ;) Just lost my potential one, haha, thought I had it all going...till life BIT BACK...lmao, I love being melodramatic

What's your dream?

To be your lovely wife ;)

You flatter me....

but seriously?

For God's sake Antiope/Artemis/QueenoftheJungle/JungleJane/Queen Jane/EmpressJane/JustJane/PlainJane/Janeinthenutshell/JaneDoe/HungryHungryJane and Just Jane:

You're such a flirt and my hands hurt...

Hahaha! Thanks for repeating 'Just Jane,' I do believe that revealed your opinion of me :)

Okay, other than being dhaval's lovely wife...
Right now, I dream of being a Large Animal Vet.

I suppose a somewhat realistic life dream would be to find a husband who would be my best friend and lover. I'm beginning to realize how uncommon that is. I want to have a few kids when I feel ready, and raise them to be moral-guided individuals. I may end up moving to Canada, Scotland or Ireland and raise my children outside the U.S. I'm still very unsure. It would be nice to live in a suburban area, center to nearby beaches, a city, and wide open spaces. I love where I live now because I have the city and the country, but the beaches are cold in Northern Ca.
I would like to eventually settle down in a cottage-type house (in a warm region) surrounded by green, rolling hills, and hopefully not too far from bodies of water or town. Before I have kids, and maybe after they have moved out (a long gap in between!), I want to live in various countries--Egypt, Japan, Scotland...maybe a few others. I would love to learn a couple languages besides English, even if not fluent. One of my biggest dreams, which I'm sure most people can relate to, is I want to make great discoveries and go on incredible adventures that I can tell my grandchildren, and they can one day tell their grand children. I want to write a couple books, and have them published. Maybe one day I will write an Autobiography, if I think my life has been interesting enough :)

Besides Animal Science, I would love to pursue Archaeology (and explore Egyptian tombs! Dig up dinosaur bones! Yeah!), Astronomy, Philosophy, Geology, Psychology, and probably a few others.

My most basic dream is to never stop learning and keep an open mind. I LOVE learning. It feeds my soul.

Unrealistically, I would like to live a few separate lives in different eras, join the Cavalia (horse circus), discover life on other planets and live on the Moon for a time, find out about a castle or palace under my name, sail the seas as a pirate and live on an island when ashore, make friends with a wolfpack, fly and own a jet, have thousands of acres of land, own a HUGE variety of animals who consider me family/herd/pack/etc., be given permission to socialize with top criminals, become a super ninja, and have a fiesta with all my internet buddies!

Heh. Okay, well I guess those aren't THAT unrealistic.

"and have a fiesta with all my internet buddies!"

Earlier today I was thinking about how crazy it would be if we all met up. Who would really be like they are on here... who would be more, who would be disappointments. I'm quite shy, so I'd probably sit in a corner booth sipping my root beer until someone came over. Mo would be dancing on the bar. Abby would be watching with derision, expert Indian dance moves filling her head.

Oh... as for digging up dinosaur bones. My best friend kinda does that a lot. Her dad's "into" rocks, so most family vacations consist of them driving out to Colorado and Montana and finding Nessie and Rexy and Littlefoot and Sharptooth and all those fellas. Just last summer he found a nice string of 7 or so vertebrae to a... Maiosaurus? Maybe? I've gone with a couple times to various places, but mostly for copper and older random minerals. It's a good time : )

I think your name should be "Queen of the Janegle."

dhaval, I hope your dreams are progressing nicely. It's good to hear your parents are on board.

'Queen of the Janegle' would be slightly redundant. My screen name is already derived from my real name. You know...Tarzan and Jane?

I bet, in person, we'd all be un-attracted to Kevin. Wouldn't that be something? Haha.

Sibyllene, I would sit down to talk to you :)