To Jake. My ex-Jake.

I don't care anymore, but i do. i guess i still love you.

Not my place to say, not nearly my business, but it sounds very much like the sort of thing a girl like you, a girl like me, should walk away from.

Take a bubble bath. Cry. It's not so easy but if you let it, it will never end.

And again, not my place, ignore me if you will.

Thanks, but its not easy.

Is it ever?

Lol, i guess not. but he was really special to me.

I guess maybe you could fill me in on your situation. But then, again, you aren't asking for advice and it's surely not my place to assume you need it. I just so happen to think everyone wants to hear a tidbit of what I have to say, despite the ridiculousness of the notion.

Oh, dear, and I hope you don't mind me calling you dear, they always are.

I actually met him here. his name is jake, and he was really great. he made me laugh and feel good. i remember when i told him i loved him. it was over the phone, i had to hang up and the last think i said was i love you and then hung up. 10 seconds later he calls and tells me he loves me too. i couldn't stop smiling. but on the 20th of this month he said he didn't feel the same and that he still wanted to be friends. i don't know if i can do that.

Oh dear lord, you sound like me. Is it long distance?

He lives in CALIFORNIA and i live in Illinois!!!

Well, a bit then.

Tell me about it. god, i really miss him. i missed him the first day i met him.

Jake, if you read this oh well.

How long did it last? Trying to find someone on the internet and form a relationship before you ever meet...is very tricky, and tends to not work. Good luck with love in the future, and I'm very sorry that you've been hurt.

Thanks. i'm sorry too.

That's how it is. It's terrible. Oh, I knew the sweetest guy. But, I can't think about that.

Call me a hypocrit. (Sp?)

If he won't fight for you, it's nothing. This guy, the one I can't talk about, well, I would have done anything for him. Jumped off a cliff, slit my throat, waited for him, moved for him, died for him. And he never said yes, never showed any real affection, but he hinted, and in effect, never said no. So I just kept at it. Until he said it! Finally he said it! He wanted me, too! He loved me back! Oh, I was happier than anything. And then, what does he do? He leaves me, the distance, he says, the age thing (he was four years my senior, we had met in my old highschool before he left for college, so I'd known him for a year before we both moved), and Kat.

Her name was Kat and he chose her and he knew nothing about her. But I was his kitty! Oh, I loved it when he called me that. He said kitty sweeter than anything. Funny thing, my love now, I'm his cougar. But it was just ironic, the whole of it. I was devastated. I had only really, really realized, invited, welcomed the fact that I was so in love with him, the way he spoke, that wonderful picture of him, the was he laughed, the soft, almost rough, precision of his voice...he chose her. And he had only taken me because I had been on my knees at his beck and call, listening to his troubles, calling him, emailing him, loving him for two years.

I was his only option. But she was better. And then, when she left him, he came crawling back to me...

If he cannot FIGHT for you, if he does not WANT you, LOVE you, he's not worth it. Oh, God, you will feel like the world is over and as is he was your very water, you will think you NEED him...and then...someday, you will realize, if you aren't worth the trouble to him, he's not worth the tears.

I'm so sorry that hapened to you. i hope my someday is soon until then... all i can do is live my life. hopefully he'll want me agian. i am just that in love.

Oh, God, so was I. I thought I could wait forever. I didn't care that he took her. I was going to WAIT. I don't know. Something clicked when he came back.

Doesn't mean you won't cry. I rarely cry. Well, I used to rarely cry. Before him.

I cried for three days STRAIGHT. I took bubble baths with candles and ate whole boxes of ice cream. I was the MOST cliche female peice of broken heart ever. I wanted to kill myself, I cut myself. I wanted to keep at it. Make him see, make him try. He broke me.

I have a theory. I think every girl gets her heart broken. Once, maybe more. I think girls like us get our hearts broken. And I think that this irrepairable tear that we are left with, the scar we can talk about, see, touch, and God, can we feel is there to remind us of our value. I think this clenching stab of some harsh reality is some sort of brutal lesson that, God only knows, we should have been able to live without. But I don't think we ever would have known, had this numbing crash that seems like it will never end, that seems as if it can never be measured up to, that we are worth a little effort, a little appreciation, and even, a little hassle. We need to settle, not to suffocate. Find the one who loves us, flaws and all, and learn how to love another, wholeheartedly, but not so that it strangles every breath of air and independance in our lungs.

That's a good theroy. but i'd want the guy who broke it to fix it.

That's not a thing you can fix, dear. After so long, your body runs out of the amount of pain it can handle and the amount of pain it is willing to forgive.

But, you'll see. Everyone does in their own time.

Go ahead and say what you want, i don't care.

Ex'es my dear, are hard to get over...

I can empathize with you, as in you want to say all the mean things you want to...But you realized now or should I say clocked on to the fact that he is the loser in this broken relationship seeing as he now lost whatever you have.

I would say come off your depression from which I can feel is dripping from every post you have made...But frankly all I can say is "Time heals all wounds"...

Just take some time off...Meditate and reflect on what has happened, and try to find a way to get over it....

Okay. Thanks everyone all i can say is i will try. even if it breaks my heart a little more.

Now i am totally over it. yay me!!!! his loss.

OR AM I?????????