He's dead...

The most amazing boy i'll ever meet died yesterday...

how do i overcome this?
i smile when i think about the funny things he's said
but then i start crying

http://www.venturacountystar.com/news/2007/aug/28/teenager-is-killed-two-are-injured-in-car-crash/

that's him, if you want to hear the details.

i met him going through the mcdonalds drive through. after that..i'd go EVERYDAY to see him. i gained 20 to see this boy! that's dedication

i can't believe he's gone
i know it's going to take time
but i dont have anyone to talk to about this

i have NO friends at all
and whenever i talk about it to my gma (whom i live w/)
she goes and says 'if you had just done something' or 'if you had just gotten to know him better'
like its MY FAULT that he died
=(
i dont like think that
i know it's not

and i also cant talk to her
because whenever i get angry or start crying she says im over reacting
she has no clue...
how much
i cared about him

i know its crazy
i hardly talked to him at all
just a few minutes here
a few minutes there

but he was PERFECT
someone just talk to me
i have no one..

It is sooo not your fault, this is my experience, dont know if it will help at all, i used to live in another state, i moved away and within 5 months 6 of my really good friends committed suicide, in my warped mind i blamed myself, i thought well maybe if i hadn't moved i could have spent more time with them and helped them with their problems, unfortunatly i had to come to grips with the realization that, it was not up to me, or any of the other friends that they had, it was the horrific choice that they made, it was a selfish, irreversible action that can never be erased, that left behind, so many people that loved and cared about them, i am so sorry about your friend, i hope you can learn to grieve in a healthy and productive way and that you and others that contemplate this alternative may learn from it.....best wishes...

Its not your fualt and its hard to lose a friend or anyone at all. You cant blame your self cause there was nothing you could have done. If you ever need to talk I'm here for you. I know what your going through..kinda. Cause I'm getting over a death in my family. Or at least trying to get over it.

Last july i lost a close friend to me in a car accident too...i was in love w/ him too. the sad thing was the last day i saw him i overdosed and he saved my life...i never got to thank him or tell him how i felt about him. if you EVER need to talk i'm here for you i know what its like to go what your going threw.

Thanks guys...

i know its not my fault, but still...
getting blamed for it.
"if you had gotten to know him better he wouldn't have happened"
its not good to hear
i hear that the sight where he died is cluttered with cards and flowers and pictures
i havent gotten to drive past it yet...

but today i went through the drive through of the same mcdonalds i fell in love w/ him at..
i didn't cry
and i didnt cry at skool today when ppl kept talking about him
i have made a memorial for him on both my skool binder and on my bulliten board
w/ his pictures and the article
and im looking for anything and everything about him now

i miss him...
=/
but im feeling a tad better about it
i know it's gonna take time
but everytime i look at his pictures i smile
so that's good

(he was SO dreamy=p)
r.i.p. my love

Hey
im so sorry to hear about your friend n it is not ur fault.

I am so so sorry for your loss. i have sent you a pm for if you want to talk to anyone.

It doesnt matter what other people say keep telling yourself that it wasnt your fault he died. It was his time to go.

if you didnt get the chance to tell him how you felt about him while he was alive he now knows how you feel as he would be looking down on you all the time.

i know this wont help a lot but it might.

Kalee

Death comes when its time....not when we are ready for it. Besides....you said you really didn't know him well....he could have been very diffrent to what you saw him as. But its ok to cry about him....never let anyone tell you otherwise.

So guys,
today i got abandoned by my gma

over 5 miles from my house
and it is over 90 degrees here
and i had to walk over half way home before she came back

she really is not nice
she is taking everything out on me
and with ryan gone this is the last thing i need
=(

Last May a friend of mine died in a car accident, about two weeks before his graduation. He was a funny, beautiful boy that everyone loved. He had no enemies. He was going into nursing, he was going to help people. His girlfriend loved him so much...and I sat right next to him in class everyday. It's so hard to comprehend that someone so full of life, so happy and so...big, so able to fill up a room...is just...gone. Not there. It's so hard to believe. It's really hard to deal with, but eventually the tears turn into smiles, when you think of who they used to be, the things they used to say. You still miss them, but you also appreciate what they once gave.

Good luck...