an easy way out

I'm currently struggleing with cutting. I'm I'll be 15 in jan. I started when I was 13. Just this year I realized I needed to stop and that what I am doing to myself to my body is bad for me. During my mothers depressive period my cutting became worse and worse. Her suicide attempt brought about my anger and frustration to a point where I feared I may need stiches. Idont know what to do. I wish I could seek help w/o actually telling my mom or anyone else in the family. And the only people I can tell, wont tell anyone else. My g/f, she cuts and there-for understands me. She's the only one i can really turn to during my times of depression. My mom used to read everything on my computer. and when i started writing all about my cutting I guess I always hoped she would see it. That it would be my easy way out. But she hasn't been reading my site or any of my IM's latly. in a way maybe it's good because she doesn't need my emotions to deal with as well. What should I do? I cant tell her, or anyone else in my family (it's to hard-and I fear what will happen to them) and I can't stop. It's only been 7 days since I last cut and I feel like doing it again. I need it. I made it to 19 days once...ima go for 20 now. I only hope i make it.