Pregnant!!!

My 14 yr old cousin called me the other day to tell me she was 3 months pregnant. She told me that she hadn't told anyone else yet...See she and her b/f just broke up, she just recently moved in with her father who she hasn't lived with in 2 yrs (due to her parents divorce) and her mother just went into the hospital for drug use. She wants advice on what to do but I didn't know what to tell her so I just told her not to say anything yet untill her own family/life situation calms down a bit...She told me she is scared and doesn't know where to turn...I told her she could always call me to talk or for advice or anything but I still just don't know what to say.

I'd suggest she gets in contact with local support groups, social services etc and starts to prepare to be a Mother....good luck to her.

Tell her to keep her knees together lol

Sorry that was mean, its time like this wish men got pregnant instead. Half of them have the beer gut shaped about right anyway

She's. Four. Teen. She should NOT be having sex.

I don't think she should have had sex either but what is done is done. Although in my community 14 is considered old for having sex (although I didn't have sex untill I was 17). Anyways...I think I just need to be there for her and let her tell when she feels the time is right.

If she plans on carrying to term the important thing is to make sure she goes to the doc and is taking care of herself, telling isthe easy part, it is parenthood that needs to be prepared for. Nine months goes by a lot quicker than we think, 3 of those have already passed. Yeah she is 14, but what's done is done, it can't be changed.

Np,

Ocensoul... you need to shut ur dang mouth... why because i'm a young mother and i'm twice as better off now then i was before i got pregnant why because if i wasn't pregnant i could have started smoking, drinking, and doing alot of other things that are wrong for this world... yet you see acholics walking the street DON'T YOU... you see young mothers... this isn't the first time a 14 year old got pregnant... and alot of teens that get pregnant end up being a great mother... WHY because they are closer in age and they understand more they are still learning so they can learn to get along with that child in there life.. and you know what you needed ban..... bob is doing a good thing... GO bob

" because they are closer in age and they understand more they are still learning so they can learn to get along with that child in there life.. "

This is not what makes someone a good parent, having a sense of responsibility does this, wanting to give your child everything they need and deserve, including good parents. You can be 40 years old and not be ready for a child, I know a lot of examples sadly.

Yea i never said anything about not having responsibility.. and it is really responsible to give your child away to someone else just because of your age...

Adoption is a personal choice, I am sure many find it a better alternative than abortion and if someone out there can give your child the things you know you are incapable of, then I say do it. Keeping the child is not the only responsible choice, being mature enough to realize you cant do it and it would be better to give up the child is also a responsible choice. It is better than finding it abandoned somewhere. The only people I really have no patience for are the ones that pop them out one after the other or are regulars at the abortion clinic. Yes we all make bad choices sometimes but when it happens 2 or 3 times or 10 times, it is no longer a mistake, just a tragedy.

My belief is that if you can spread your legs and have the fun then i guess you have to pay for the mistake you make... it isn't the babys fault and that child is always going to think differently of there adopted family when they find out... and if you are going to have her tell her dad... have someone in the family or someone that is his friend come with her when she tells him... it will help because then they have someone to talk to afterwards... i brought my uncle... i was scared to death but i was really worried that something might be wrong so i told my uncle and he brought me home so i could tell my mom

None of us are perfect, we all make mistakes ,she made a serious one and she will have to live with the consequences but it doesn`t make her any less of a person than any one of you or I. She first needs to see a Doctor and then probably a counselor to help her decide what the best course for her is. The stress of holding this secret in is not good for her,get it out in the open. Its not the end of the world,it happens every day.Its how she handles it that will have the most affect on her life.

Even if she does decide to give it up for adopten she has to live with it for the rest of her life... my point was think about your life and just think... what do you want to change... now add a kid and give that kid away to someone you have no clue about them or anything... you don't even know if they have had kids before or what... now that kids grows up with those people and finds out they are adopted... they start looking for you... and when they find you... what are you going to do... you got the child you pushed out of your life standing on your doorstep...

You cant always think about yourself bringing a baby into the world...you gotta think what is best for that baby. Even tho you might think its tough to give up your baby, you need to think that maybe that baby could have a better life with a different family. see if you can have an open adoption...so then you can still be in your childs life. if you think that you can support and care for a child and give it the best life possible then its different...just think about that baby and its future.

I'm working and going to school... WHILE PREGNANT... it isn't the end of the world... it is life... get over it... some people's parents wont let there children give there baby up for adoption... so then they are stuck with it... HELLO... i'm working and going to school it isn't hard i get about um 5 hours of sleep and it will problly be less when the baby comes... but i'm just as good as a mother as my mom... why because my mother has been a single mom for 13 years... yes 13 years... it isn't the end of the world...and guess what this pregnancy saved me from getting in a car with a bunch of drunk people and i found out the next day that they got in a carcrash and only 2 people lived out of the 6 that got in that car... and i would have died if i was in there... i also wouldn't have stopped smoking and drinking if it wasn't for this pregnancy... so this pregnancy as saved me and made me think of the world differently... now i KNOW i'm not depressed and even if i was it isn't worth killing myself over... some TEENS have possive things come out a of the pregnancy like myself

The driver wasn't drinking or drunk... the parents wont let there child give the baby up because that is there grandchild.. i don't believe in adoption and abortion because you can spread your legs you can have the child.. my mom told me it was my choice but she would raither have me keep the child then giving it away... everyone has will power but some people don't realize they have it till something tragic happens to them.. or something great... and young teenagers are fit to be parents.. i have servel cousins that are parents that i just meet at my gradution.. and i know alot of mothers out there that love there babys to death and are teen moms.. age doesn't matter it is just a number...

He was the driver and the car was full of others that are drunk.. 2 of which are sitting up front.. they didn't tell me how the crashed... but it was a head on crash into another car... so i'm guessing on of the drunk people pulled on the strealing wheel tring to pull over or something... i lost 4 friends in that crash and 2 don't even know how to say my name

Tell her that she made her bed, and now she has to lie in it. Sorry, but that's what you get for having sex at 14.

no, that's what you get for not using birth control right or whatever she did.
i had sex at fourteen, but never, EVER was i stupid enough to have unprotected sex. i used condoms, and then when i got birth control i asked 92643 questions and read that loooong pamphlet about 5 times, no lie.

It was her choice of spreading her legs so this is her consequence for doing so. I wouldn't recommend abortion at all. Nor would I recommend adoption but if she really feels that this is a big obstacle in her life then she should do so. Babies are going to be a big thing to deal with, they will soak up money but only a strong willed person will be able to give everything up just to have their baby with them.

Think of how the baby would feel if it's adopted or given to a family member [like I was] and their mom isn't there to watch their first steps, word, the first drawing they did or the first concert they went to. I never saw my mother sitting in the chairs of the concert and it broke my heart because I thought my mom hated me. She had me at 17 and she admits that she had me while she was too young but she made a choice that was best for me and she had to get things back together in her life. I'm alright with that because she put me first.

Just tell her that she should do what she things is best for the baby!

^^

Niice =)

Ahah, good point.
...at least i was never promiscuous! woo! 2 points for me? :P

Promiscuous~casual and unrestrained in sexual behavior
Having sex at 14, that is pretty unrestrained sexual behaviour lol

Beautiful Chaos, I love the painting you have as your avatar.

SEX SUCKS! Stay away from it...No babies.

Well, the way i see it is that she has two options:
1. she can keep her baby and hopefully not regret it
2. give the baby up for adoption

personally i would never give my baby up no matter how bad my home life was because that baby could end up saving my life
so if she keep the baby then she could look at it like she has a reason to live because i'm thinking right now she feels alone, scared and feels like she has no reason to live for herself or anyone. what ever she does i will be thinking about her. good luck some people just don't relize that or they just simply don't care which i think is bull****

My cousin did tell her father 2 days ago. I was there when she did it. She asked me to be. She told her father and then he told me to leave and as I did I heard what sounded like my cousin getting hit with a belt in the back, so I turned around and she was kneeling on the ground crying and I saw her father with a belt in his hand. He then again told me to leave and as I did I could hear him muttering "Stupid kid! God damn stupid kid!" I went over there yesterday while her father was at church to check up on her but she wouldn't even talk to me. I was there for a little over an hour. She looked so deppressed.

Take that belt
hang him with it.

Thats pretty messed up

i think you should call social services on that one

Im surprised that church didnt burn down when he walked into it.

okay, that's a bit dramatic maybe, but things like that just really make me hate humans.

He's always been the abusive type, I just didn't think hed ever do anything like that while she was pregnant. I should call social services but then I'm afraid I'll never be able to see my cousin again because I have a pretty good feeling they'd take her away. I wish her mom could just take her back, but she can't...not being in the hospital and all...btw I've called my cousin since and she doesn't answer the phone and I went over there yesterday and she still isn't talking. Its not just to me though her fater said she hasn't said a word since...well...the incident...but I deff. think she needs help...I believe she is spiraling down and is deppressed...I just want her to do what is right for the baby.

I do care about my cousin I'm just afraid for myself. I mean I don't know what he'd do (or try to do) to me if I reported him and he found out. And if they let him go afte they get him then It'll be a lot worse for everyone...So I don't know what to do.

Tell your mom about what happen and get her away from her dad as soon as possiable and call if he does anything to you he will end up going to jail and since he hit her with a belt and she is pregnant he will be going to jail

I'll try my best to help her.

I think she definately needs some professional help in deciding what the best choice is for HER ,everybody is different,adoption might be the best for one person but not all,I have an adopted daughter and she never wound up on her biological mothers doorstep,but as for myself,I could never give my flesh and blood child away, If my 14 yr. old daughter got pregnant I would want her to keep it and with my help she could raise and love her child,Who knows what these parents would want or be willing to do to help that child grow up in its own family. I just have to say this.......I think the expression "spreading her legs" is degrading and judgemental,and if she heard it, it would destroy her self esteem ,which I`m sure has already suffered enough.

I talked to her last night and she told me that she was going to call her ex and tell him what was going on...So she called him while I was there. He told her that he was glad she told him and that he hated what her father was doing to her. He offered her to stay with him and his family for a little while until she got things straightened up. After I got out of school today I went back over to her house and she was packing her things she asked me to help so she was gone before her father got home from work. I did and I took her over to her ex b/f's house. He told her that he told his parents and although they were dissapointed in him they would let her stay there for a while and help her, and then her ex asked her back out and she said yes. I don't know if he only asked her for the sake of the baby or not, but we'll see how things turn out.

Thats great that he's letting her stay with him while she sorts things out!

Hope things go alright!

Best wishes.

I'm confused...where were the vicious posts? I can't find them. I found a few rude ones, mine may have been too...I'm sorry. But I can't find the evil ones...Maybe my computer is stupid...

Some people have children way to young, but for some it's the right path. I still think fourteen is way too young to have sex, but for some a child is the best thing to happen to them. But once you have that baby...some people just find that one peice of their life that was missing.