Thoughts on Pain

Okay, so the other day I was in grave grave pain. Long story why, but I'd hit rock bottom. And there was no way I could reach any deeper than I already was.

I was sittign on my terrace that night, crying and weeping silent tears into the cold air. There was almost nothing going right for me, and I had never felt that low.

Just then, I began to think a little differently. I began to see my pain, and acknowledge all of it. I questioned my pain, and trying to look deeper into it. The questioning held up, because the pain was definitely true. But when I looked deeper, I found something very interesting.

Pain, when faced without fear-- propels you to freedom-- vast, unending, astonishing freedom. I questioned my pain. My inner convo was soemthing like this:
Why am I feeling this? Okay. What am I afraid about? Okay, THIS is what I'm afraid about. Now, let me try to not be afraid about it. (That was when I consciously eliminated the fear element from my pain-- almost every pain has an element of fear attached to it). The moment I did this intensely, and broke the shackles of fear, I found freedom. It was so beautiful, like hearing ddavidds "THE music". I saw things in a different light. A lot of my pain itself seemed lesser.

So--
Do you think that fear and pain go hand in hand? Can you think of any pain that does not originate in fear?
Do you believe that pain, when faced without fear, brings freedom?
Try it, think, delve deeper, and you'll discover a universe of beauty within your own mind and thoughts....

I differ completely..

The pain of losing someone. Look deeper. What makes you want to hold on to that person? Because they represent a certain part of your life. They fulfil your emotional needs. So the pain of losing someone, before that person is lost, is NOTHING but fear.

After that person is lost, the pain of losing someone translates to the fear of the possibility of never getting that person back. The fear that you may never fill the void that person left within you. Remove that fear. Think that, okay, I might never find the things this person brought with him/her, but I am not going to be afraid of being empty about it. That doesn't mean I'm going to go out hunting for those things, but they will come when they have to. I must let go, to let in new. Some thought along those lines will remove fear....now are you still in pain...

Is it not the fear of never being able to fill that void again? Say your void was filled by some magical, divine energy...

Would you still be in pain?

I'm not saying this for you, but sometimes I think that a lot of our pain is selfish...mine, most so.

No no, I meant it hypothetically...say somehow the void is filled...would the pain still exist? Is it truly the pain of losing the person, or is it the pain of emptiness?

Okay Miss Brave, you win :P
Lol, sorry...I don't mean that as an insult..I'm just sleepy.

And yes, maybe there is no fear in that pain. I wouldn't know, I haven't experienced something similar yet. I can only think as far as my experience let me. And I'm still a young 'un..

I've never felt the pain of losing someone to death, but I have felt the pain of losing someone...out of my life. It's almost like death, people tell me. I began to venture into my pain...I found out my pain was not really pain for losing that person, it had more to do with me...with my void...there were things she represented within me, things she brought to my life that are now no longer with me, which is what I miss the most.

As unidealistic as it may sound, you are never really in love with a person. You are in love with your concept of a person.

Yes, I hate to admit it too, but I think its true. My pain was pretty selfish.

I will one day have to lose my parents, whom I love to death.
I can't say how painful it will be, but I know I will have to carry on, and I know that pain is a synonym for life. But I also know it's that there is a lot of mystery in pain, and almost an aura of soft beauty to it. It is when we are in pain, that we truly find ourselves. It is when we hit rockbottom, that we can feel more than the mundane, more than joy. All in all, it's an experience, but I don't know if I look forward to it.

Yet, I look forward to my life. I sure do hope it's interesting...Haha

Hey you know what..
I think the key to our disagreement lies to our two different pains...maybe I've felt one painful blow, and you've felt a different KIND altogether..

Yes, I never know, you could be true in saying there is pain without fear.

Yes, my pain does have an aura of soft beauty around it. Your pain doesn't...we're feeling different things.

I'm sure your pain is terrible...I'm sorry for you loss, I know that all I can tell you is to be strong and move on, but I also know that while you might be able to be strong, you will never completely move on. I wish you the best...take care.

I do agree with this that pain in linked with fear. Of course even accepting that fear and coming to terms with it will still leave you with pain as in heartache or something... but there is a definite relationship between the two.

Haha - Bob I was going to say that it is selfishly motivated too (not that its a bad type of selfishness - its just the way our human self is built).

I was accused the other day by my mother of being selfish when it came to my dog (she baby sits him while Im in London and he's in Australia)... she's about to start travels of her own and wants to give him to a loving home. While I agree he needs a loving home I only want a dog sitter until I can come home and take back my lovely mutt - she claims Im being selfish and yes that is correct. Selfishness is not necessarily a "bad" characteristic in some ways - we are all guilty of it - but at the same time if I were to let my dog go to an unloving house just so that I could take possession of him back when I get home - that would mean my selfishness is more powerful then my love for my dog. That would be wrong.

You have others around you but there is a spot left in your heart that only they can fill

^^

Not always true...we don't miss the person, we miss the concept of that person, the things that we did with that person. Say everything else was recreated with someone else, maybe the void would go away.

And what Bob was talking about was the pain of losing our innocence, right?

But it is still selfish. It pains us to lose our innocence because we want to be like children, with their guiltlessness and purity. The idea of regaining innocence instills in us the idea of washing away all wrong that we have done, but it can never be, hence we feel pain. It is quite selfish...why did you say it isn't?

I still don't get it.
In my opinion, if something pains us because it affects US, its selfish, isn't it?
Yes, we didn't see it coming, but it eventually pains us.

If you had another person to hug, talk to, laugh with, your void would be filled. Or else how can one person fall in love again and again? They dont fall in love with the person...we never truly know somebody, we are only in love with OUR concept of the person, who we think that person really is. MAybe one may never completely move on, but it is important to recognise that the reason why the void exists is not because the PERSON is not there, but because what you shared and recieved from that person is not..

This reminds me of stress. Stress is self-induced.

When you lose someone you love ,especially like your mother or spouse no one else could ever replace that feeling ,there is never going to be that special bond that you have with someone who gave birth to you,no one loves you in the same way as they did. so finding someone else to love will not take away the pain of losing them.I do agree that part of the pain involves fear,the fear of not being able to go on without them,the fear of the change that will come to your life, the fear of no control over the pain.At least for me not being in control of any situation leaves me feeling helpless and afraid.

Alot of time the people who seem the most free and the most outgoing are the ones who are the most tied down with pain not much of what you guys are talking about but its a liitle of what i got outta it <333

I think it's a cliche. Pain is nothing but pain. It's not a form of weakness. It's a very natural emotion, and cannot be called a weakness, in my opinion. It's like evening shower-- neither good, nor bad, just rained.

I can def. agreee wit every pain is somehow linked wit fear, actually never thought bout it dat way, but im glad i read yur post. I can also def. agree dat the pain of loosin someone is linked wit fear, WE R AFRAID WE R NOT GONNA B ABLE 2 LEAVE WITHOUT THEM. dats real.