"Engaged" with/out an engagement ring?

I believe a person can be engaged even without an engagement ring. I don't believe a person has to have a ring to be engaged, simply because in a lot of cases couples can't afford a ring at the time, are looking for a specific type of ring or are simply just waiting for the right moment to present it (even with their spouses ready knowledge of an engagement). It's the thought that counts as it means more & promises more than a ring can.

My boyfriend & I, you can say, are engaged because he asked me to marry him one night (one very special night) & I said yes. But he just didn't have a ring at the time because he couldn't afford one, is looking for a specific one & is simply waiting... Not that I want him to go out & by an expensive one, in fact, I don't want him to. As long as it's from the heart.

I don't think of having a ring around my ''ring finger'' as a sign that I am married; taken, or a ring around my loves "ring finger" as a sign that he is married; taken, as well. I see it as a sign; a way of showing ones love, showing that my love has been GIVEN not taken!

Do you think a person could be "engaged" even without an engagement ring? What is your own belief of what constitutes an "engagement"?

I don`t believe you need a ring, however I am from a family that doesn`t believe in that, so that may be why. I think that if you love each other and are PLANNING on getting a ring, than that is enough. Some people can`t wait and they pop the question, so be it; it`s their choice.

I think so too. You don't need a ring to say " hey i married or engaged" I mean if you love that person and they mean the world to you, then you should be happy.

You don't need a ring to be engaged i'm engaged but my love can't afford a ring plus i raither use that money on my unborn child... and he knows it so he isn't jumping at any extra money to buy me a really big ring... i'm happy just saying hey i'm engaged but i don't need a ring to prove it it is his love for me not his money that i want to marry him for

^ Haha. Awe, that's real sweet that you told your boyfriend he could tie a piece of rope around your finger and you would be just as happy with it. I think I'd even prefer it. I love practical, yet with significance! ;)

And thank you!

"THe promise you two made to each other doesn't lie in the ring however it lies in your hearts."

^I strongly agree with Amanda on this one. The ring merly represents what you already feel in your hearts..if you already make that promise within your heart and soul then the ring can come later (or not at all). Commitment does not come from a ring on your finger it comes from what you deeply feel for the person. And I hope it doesn't take a ring for someone to remember that commitment they made.
I wish you guys the best of luck in your lives together. :)

--Viola

^Haha. I'm surprised I haven't gotten anyone on here who says that the ring IS "essential" for an engagement.

I LOVE the answers I am getting, not to mention am proud of you girls & myself for using our hearts over our heads.

And I like that you say "...if you've made the promise with your heart and soul the ring can come later or not at all." I love that! I personally even don't want a ring to prove to everyone that I am in love, steady, mature, serious and committed. The only person I need to prove that to is my love, & I sure as hell don't need a ring for that.

I got a ring for my boyfriend, as a symbol of my love for him, for his birthday! I put it in one of my dad's old ring boxes. When I brought it out to him I got down on one knee, opened up the box with a smile and said... ''Happy Birthday!'' Everyone laughed, both with me and at me! I think he was a little embarrassed though that I beat him to the punch. :P

No, you don't need a ring. Me and Marcus have been engaged for nearly a year now and he couldn't afford a ring so when he proposed, he gave me his ring that he always wore (a silver band) and i wear it around my neck.
As long we're in love and we know we're getting married (2009 baby!!) who needs to wear one?

But i think i'm getting one for my birthday with the hints his sisters have been dropping, lol. Bless him. He's always felt bad he couldn't give me one but i really don't think it's a need =)

No, I don't think you need an engagement ring in order to make it official... of course not.

However. It seems like there are lots of kids who are sort of "pseudo-engaged." At the age of 15, their boyfriend says "I don't want to live without you... say you'll marry me." The girl says "omg! ok!" Are they engaged? Realistically? To me, if you're engaged, you sort of have a set plan for when you want to get married, and you can start planning for your wedding and for your lives together. So a ring? No. But some common sense and a plan, please.

^ I agree with you, that is a very good point, one sort of does need to have a "set plan" in order to be engaged. But consider this: An engagement should have a "set plan" of some kind, but not always necessarily wedding plans. Some people propose to the love of their life, become engaged & decide to hold off on the wedding, for obvious & reasonable reasons. In this case, for me & my boyfriend (or any other young couple who's not ready to hear the wedding bells just quite yet), decided to wait till we are older; after we've finished school, gotten steady jobs, an actual house with a backyard, etc. This IS a set plan, as we (or other people in similar situations) are not rushing ourselves but allowing ourselves time to make sure what we're doing, or more importantly what we will be doing, is the right choice. Thank you.

^"And yeah i mean it was corny to say the thing about the rope to him but i meant it."

It's not corny at all, don't ever think that! :) It shows how deeply you care for him... And that is about as deep as you can go! :P

I agree with the second post above me

^But i think i'm getting one for my birthday with the hints his sisters have been dropping, lol. Bless him. He's always felt bad he couldn't give me one but i really don't think it's a need =)

Congratulations! I hope you both remain to have a beautiful life together in future as it presents itself.

In regards to the 15 year old engagees. i'm 17, and i have been with the same girl for 3 years. it took me seven months to tell her i lovedher, and i asked her to marry me three months ago. as a way to show her this was it, i could LIVE without her... but i wanted to show her i was ready to give my future to her if the dedication was mutual. most are skeptical on teenage love and i do understand. but i feel as though this is right for me; a paced, but very serious relationship. i didnt give her a ring either. i am giving her a chain with my class ring for temporary purpose. to pace this and not blindly rush. so no.

Not very serious relationship* an understanding of where we want our futures to go, not just winging it all when it comes very soon. sorry.

I work three steady jobs, Angelina. :/But, I agree. A ring may be a sentimental object, put it doesnt reflect the emotions involved.

I school. construction 4 to 10 on weekdays. photography shoots for events such as gigs, weddings, or contests. photography i guess isnt steady, so excuse that. but, i do hold the construction job.

You don't need a ring, love is not material. I would just absolutely love to see my ring on the love of my life's finger, and to see his on mine. Material proof of love is not the only proof, but it makes you feel good. Lol. I can say I'm in the same situation with my boyfriend as you are with yours. He can't afford a ring right now either. But I love him...oh...so so much...

Carpenter* jesus. roofing and things. sorry.

^"But if you're doing as you're saying - holding it off until you graduate and get a job, then what's the problem? =) A ring doesn't define an engagement."

Already have a couple steady jobs... Just not ones that I plan having my entire life (of course not) & not ones that I plan on using my money for a wedding, ring, my own house, etc. (at least yet). Only ones to pay for my license plates & gas, school supplies, post-secondary activities, & other necessities. I save mostly, for my future towards going to college or a university & getting the real job(s) that I want. :)

^"I school. construction 4 to 10 on weekdays. photography shoots for events such as gigs, weddings, or contests. photography i guess isnt steady, so excuse that. but, i do hold the construction job."

I'd consider photography shoots as a hobby & interest rather than your job! :)

Who here thinks that you don't even want to have an engagement ring let alone a wedding ring, but instead something else; like a bracelet or necklace for example, something different rather than a ring?

I do. I think a necklace would be just as meaningful! The notion that a ring is the only kind of materialistic symbol of love & more is too highly publicized.

I had a necklace that I gave to my boyfriend before he had to move back his hometown. It was a heavy metal, silver but lusterless lock on a black string of cord. It became known as "The Lock on My Heart", or at least according to alot of guys trying to hit on me... I gave it away, to my boyfriend, as he's the only one with "The Key to My Heart". He's the one I've given my love; past, present & future, to.

I'd consider photography shoots as a hobby & interest rather than your job! :)

If I'm getting payed for it.. It isnt a hobby. Photographers ford Ford Motor Company have jobs right? Funny. I shot for Ford with my partner. It is a hobby, but it's turned into a career for me as well.

As for Angelina... I barely survive. xD With that and school, let's say I'm a ball of teenage stress?

^ Of course it's a career that you can get pay for... All I said was, personally, I'd consider it a hobby & interest. You can have it both ways.

I'm involved with business, love. I shoot cars for Ford sometimes, and I work with professionals in their flats and studios. It is a business, less shy of a hobby.

^Well good for you, but still, babe, that's not what I'm getting at.

What exactly are you getting at, "hun"? I'm curious to know. My job will be paying for the ring that I buy her. Not my "hobby" is what I AM getting at.

Haha. Angelina, call me Isaac or Ian. Whichever you prefer. Kodak made me laugh in an odd way. I'm thinking I have to cut my hours in all three departments. May I ask what you're working to major in? This has all strayed so very far from the topic. xD

Kodak it is then.
I play piano myself. And Violin sometimes, if they like that for weddings. But that's every once in a blue moon.
Well, I'm still in high school. But I take part time classes in college for Photography and English major.