How can parents do this

My father left me and my little sister along with my mother when i was only 3 years old... for years and years i always thought he left because i was a bad child.. my grades slipped and i started not to care i didn't have friends and i just didn't want to do anything.. well my mom took told me the real reason why they spilt up because i was tired of just making up my own story... he left because he wanted to have sex and run around when ever he wanted...
now my mom has a new man he has 3 girls of his own that he has full cusdey of 2 of the girls bdays are next week and the others was last month.. well their mother was going to come up and see them for their bday and now she isn't because her boyfriend doesn't want her too... how can parents do this to there children...
i'm sick and tired of people telling me that i need to give my father a chance and yet i still hear my self saying it to them... and i finally took one of them away from everyone else and talked to her about how no matter what she will always love her but soon she just isn't going to trust her... why do people treat there kids like this when they where treated like it and they KNOW how much it hurts...

It's not about being weak or stupid. It's about what they want and what they think they need. I know that your father and their mother feel terribly bad, though they don't show it. But, there's something inside them that won't bring them to the point of parenthood. And, most likely [[with your father]] he's now too embarrassed to come back and say sorry, he's too ashamed of how much he hurt you and what he's done to your mother as well. even if he doesn't feel it right now, he will one day. I don't know how long it's been going on. But, my guess is he does now.. If this started when you were 3. Not only is he ashamed, he feels as if it's better to stay out of your life because of how much he has hurt you. And, he's not 100% sure he won't do it again. Because, he got what he wanted the first time by leaving you. Most likely he won't do it again, eh. But, he can't convince himself of that.
The mother, who didn't go to see them because of her boyfriend.. Well, she may end up the same way. But, there's no need to judge her so soon. Sometimes women are pushed to the limit by men, and let me tell you.. Within the next few times she does it she's goin to be pushed to the limit. It's her children, and she loves them. And, kids forgive their parents no matter what.

Sometimes, though.. when the kids reach a point they can't admit that they forgive their parents. But, deep down they do because they love them just the same [[if not more]] than what their parents love them.

So, .. I think that when the time comes you should give your father a chance. Obviously the times not now, but you'll know when it comes.
And, with the others.. Just wait it out. When and if it gets too bad deal with it then.

Men are pigs lol.......... In the end your parents both have to take the responcibilty for a failed relationship. People should take a few years to make sure things are working before having kids. Learn from your mother and don't make the same mistakes

My mother was married for 5 years before i was born... so it wasn't my mothers mistakes it was my dumb fathers... so don't say my mother made mistakes because she is the only reason why i have a house and still know my little sister and family or i would have been taken away and if men where pigs why is it that my moms NEW boyfriend has all 3 of his daughters LIVING with him... and he has full cousdey of them

Hi Sluvious, that was just a general comment.There are a lot of guys who have the brain in the weenie syndrome. But I can only comment from a small percentage i have experienced. I can never understand how parents can give up on their kids, for someone who is unlikely to be able to have children Ifind the whole idea of being able to just leave your family abhorant

Id advise all women to only date guys of poem and quotes at least their in tuouch with their feelings lol

Your mom isnt perfect- we have all made mistakes. being married for 5 years doesnt make things not her fault.
now, im not saying they ARE her fault, either. just saying we all make mistakes.
society and parenting are all screwed up.
dont continue the cycle

Sometimes parents repeat the same behavior that happened to them. Perhaps your father just didn't know how to BE a father. Adults don't realize that children are harmed by divorce, especially if they don't explain to their children that it isn't their fault -that it's a problem between the parents. That the children aren't "bad" - And sometime, adults are just jerks.

My mother took me away to South africa without telling my dad and then years later threw me back after her 'husband' did things to me and she didn't believe me.
Now she lives happily with him and her two new daughters.

Parents do this to thier children when they are still children themselves and need to face up to their responsibilties.

At least it makes 'us' better people though

"Just some advice....lEARN THE REAL TRUTH FROM THE PERSON THEMSELVES...Jilted mothers and fathers have a way of lying about the other because of the pain. It may be the truth, but you never know, it's best to be sure...and as to your question, how can parents do this?"

Very true. My mother made me believe my father sexually abused me. I accused an innocent man of the worst possible crime.

All I can say is that you know what this did to you, now you know not what to do to your children. Learn from their 'mistakes' shall we call them?

P.S. I am now living with my dad, and no longer speak to my mum. I know what is true, but the doubt is still there and I will never be able to trust either of them again.