abusive relationships

okay... i dunno what to do... see.. i have this boyfriend. and he is..well.. different (NO not in the retareded way! lol) jus like not like other guys. he has a sweet heart i believe.. but is really mean to me sometimes. he is very self centered and MUST have his way. its like he controls me. on the phone if i dunt say something that he likes then he will yell at me and start this big fight.. when i say "i have to get off the phone" he will be like no and will not let me get off or else. when we r together, all he wants to do is go down my pants or touch me places i dunt want to be touched and i really dunt like it and then he goes around and hurts me.. like kicks, punches.. i dunt think he does this on purpose.. jus messing around.. but he does it and that is what matters. what guy would hurt their girlfriend? i have scratches... brusies. they hurt. and my friends say i should break up with him.. but anyone that knows how i feel (like in an abusive relationship) knows that i cant break up with him.. i dunno whats wrong with me.. i need help

-chelsea

having never been in that situation all i can do is guess but i would try talking to him, tell him that you don't like it and that if he doesn't stop you will break up with him.
good luck thou

thanks.. but u see.. i cant do that.. i jus cant

as hard as u feel it is to get away you have to for ur own health. already you havebrusies and scartches what will it ake broken bones .. hospital stays.. coma..daeth for you to realize hes wrong and dangerous. i feel for you but you need t o get away while you still can thingsonly escilate when your in a abusive realtionship tiny things turn inot very dangeruos situations very fast.if your afraid he ll hurt you if you leave then tell soemone get protection but dont let this person rule your life control you and fil you with fear.noone desreves to live tehre life thta way.you can find a sweet guy who will respect you and not grope you and hurt you.good luck.

oo and i just noted taht you 14 your way too young to be having to endure such a relationship.get out hun its for your future.how old is the guy btw??.

he is 14 too... 12 days older than me heh

id rather me be hurt.. than him be mad

...because.....i cant

im afraid of what would happen if we talked...

we would probably break up.. and u see.. i must be sick or crazy or sumthin.. but i do not want to break up with him..

but i dunt want to.. thats why i posted here jus so i can let it out.. and tealk to be to get some comfort

thanks..

ok wlel u nevr answered how old is ur bf?????, ima guess hes odler than you. how can you rather be hit tehn have him mad. will you still wnatto be with him when he pust u in the hospital/coma/breaks soem bones/kills you.

you are waaay to young to live your life taht way and be in such a dangerous relastionship. i htink its due to how young and naive you may to teh sitaution which is why you think you wnat to be with such a person.

i hope you realize ur well being could be in danger before you get hurt.
good luck

i kno i kno...

by the way... i did post that he was 14.. my age

ahh ok your right i missed that.well if hes that way at age 14 thers not mcuh to say how he ll b as he gets older really it will only become worse. most abusive men tehre tendecaies increae with age. thers no raeson at the age your both at taht he should be thatwya and that you should deal with it. you can do better and find someone who will treat ou well.

thanks. and i kno i shoudlnt be with him. but i cant leave it isnt in me. its nice to kno i can talk to u guys tho

hon i have never been in that excact situation ut my friend has and now she cant stand the guy who hits her and she wants to leave him but cant. my boy friend was very jelous and always wanted sex but i didn't and he broke up with me over something realy stupid and wanted me back and she wouldn't let me do it ecause thats how it started with her boy friend. u cant just keep letting this happen. u have to talak to him or leave him letting him do it only makes it worse. im hear if u wanna talk more or nething.
~kathleeny~

In response to your request for help, you must have known that people here would tell you to end the relationship. But you already knew that is what you need to do. I don't see the point in asking for help with this when it is already your intention to reject any worthwhile advice you are going to receive.

Let's get real. You didn't believe that any person with a brain would tell you to stay in this abusive relationship and continue to be the personal punching bag for this guy, did you?

I think there is a deeper problem. Girls who are drawn toward relationships like this generally do not have a very good self image. If they did, they would know they deserve better. I think you need to find ways to increase your self esteem and learn to become more assertive, especially when it comes to defining boundaries, saying "no" and looking out for your own self interest.

thanks kathleeny...

okay so my bf is gone out of town right now with his family. he'll be back the 29th. ill try talking to him ok? and see how things work. ill post up what happens here to keep you all informed! thanks again for the support

the best thing u can do is break up with him and tell him why.yes you might regret and miss him very much but deep inside your strong and you just need to breathe and feel the strength,stop hiding.if he really loves you he wouldnt talk to you or handle you or touch you like that.he wouldnt pressure you into doing things you dont want to do.you either need to talk to him on the phone or send him a letter cuz u said your scared to talk to him and he does seem violent so you should probably talk to him on the phone or send a letter.he needs to know what he's doing wrong cuz guys like him can really fuck a girl up....i should know i know what your feeling right now.i had an ex boyfriend who gave me lip my friends asked about it and i told them i fell...i lied to them and when they found the bruises and sores they sat me down and talked to me about it and i cried and i screamed saying that i loved him too much and i couldnt let him go like that.cuz the love i really felt for him was so powerful i was blinded by what he was doing to me he was hurting me inside and out.you dont deserve what he's treating you to no girl deserves that no matter the situation.i know you probably really love him and he's stolen your heart but he's also beating it to pieces so i'm saying before this gets out of hand you need to either talk to him or break it off.i hope you make the right choice.and i wish you good luck.

~Tears~