Advice?

So i have kinda a weird situation, and i would appreciate any advice you could give!

Situation: I like this guy, and i found out he likes me. Prolbem is , that i used to like his younger brother. When i first met him. i had no clue he was related to (his bro). I dont have feelings for his bro any more, but i do have feelings for him, and i would really like to date him, but here is the other part of the prolbem..i told his bro i was with some one, but im not now.

When i told him i was with some one i wasn't lieing, but me and this guy weren't officially dating. We aren't together at all now, and i really like corey, but am unsure of what to do. Also this guy smokes pot. I know he does and he doesn't lie about it. He doesn't do it like everyday, but would you date a guy who smoked pot? I have alot of friends who do, and i have always said as long as they dont do it around me what ever. I dont do it and he knows that. So what would you ndo in this situation? Cause i am kinda lost. thanks,
<3 Bianca

First of all you are sixteen years old. So you are, or should be, mature enough to make a proper and informed decision.

In my view the fact that he smokes pot will only drive a deeper wedge between the two of you. So will the fact that you once dated his brother.

You are already questioning if you should date him or not because of his "illegal" habits. Have you asked yourself what you would do if you both were out together and he was arrested for posession?

What if the police also wanted to place you under arrest? They can do that in our society now. They, the police, refer to it as guilt by association.

Would you be willing to go to jail for his habit? Are you willing to take the risk of having a criminal record for this guy?

What about his family? You two dating is able to cause problems since you went out with his brother in the past.

There are many other complications that could arise from this one situation; however, the two that I have posted require and deserve must consideration.

--Sher

Thank you sher, and i do see your point. I guess that i should have put in there, that ronnie is only his half brother, and we only dated for 2 days. It was weird becuase i realised that he was more of a little brother to me, then any thing else. Also i should have added that Corey does smoke pot, but never does so around, me and he doesn't carry it on him for that reason he doesn't want to be cought with it and have some one get in trouble for it. Also, where i live, you would be luckey to find 2 people out of 20 who dont do drugs, meth and pot being the most common, with extasy right behind it.

thank you for your piece of ...well questions to consider. And by the way, I am seventeen :)

<3 Bianca

{sry had to edit..realized i was a bit on the witchy side :) }

I did not mean to come across as though I was implying that you are immature.

Actually, I meant for it to come across that due to your age I am banking on you being mature.

Sorry if it sounded rude, but that is how I felt.

I do believe that you are mature enough to think this through properly and that is why I posed questions for you to think about instead of saying to just stay away from him.

Bianca,

Thank you for taking this up with me through the PM system. After reading this post once again I can understand why you thought I was being rude.

Again, I want to say thank you for bringing this to my attention in a respectful manner.

--Sher

This is a bit of a difficult situation. But this decision is completely up to you. I (as well as everyone else on this site) are in no position to tell you what to do. Ultimetly it is your choice. But those questions Sherry mentioned are worth thinking about.

Ok let me share with you a story that happened to my friend.

She knew a guy she liked A LOT. They have been friends for years, and she's liked him for God knows how long. I even remember a time when she told me she was in love with him (this was a few months ago). Anyways, getting to the point the boy smokes weed. He does so on a regular bases, maybe even everyday with his friends. On top of that, he does a lot of other stupid things that I just won't go into. I always thought he was a bad influence on her. So this one time she went and slept over at his house for the night and he took her out with him when he went out with his friends, and they smoked and did a whole bunch of other stuff.. that I know the girl, in her right mind and without his inluence, wouldn't do. But she did get to spend time with him and she was so happy telling me this. Now ofcourse, I was happy for her but I just told her to be careful..and that although I know she likes him an awful lot, he's not good for her to be around. Well next weekend comes and she goes out with him again. Guess what they do? Oh yes, smoke weed. But this time not just a little, a lot from a bong (is that what it's called?). And so she got really sick and started feeling horrible because obviously she had never smoked that much in her life. She was really high and all...and the boy was too high to notice that ofcourse. So she called her mom and took a taxi home...From that day on she doesn't really talk to him much anymore. She said herself it was one of the worse experiences of her life. Her mom does not allow her to see the boy anymore...and well even if she did allow it I doubt the girl would want to. You know, sometimes we have to sacrifice our feelings and happiness for our own well being.

Now I am in no way at all saying this will happen to you. I don't even know you and you probably are much smarter than to go down that path. It's just something to consider and think about.

Good luck! =]
--Viola

Thank you Viola, that story was interesting.

all the questions that are here i have thought about a thousand times. Where i live, the drugs and crap start in 4ht and 5th grade. And you either learn that your friends are going to be doing it, and choose not to, or you can follow....i have a strong will power, and honestly i haven't done any of this. My first time getting offered a join was in 5th grade, and i have never done it. I know this guy wont try to get me to smoke with him, because when he first met me and started smoking cig.s around me, i flipped out. Smoking cigerettes does not bother me, he is almost 18 anyway, and around here the cops dont do any thing about it unless your like 14. But he only ever asked me once if i wanted a hit of his cigerette, and when i said no, he accepted it, and has respected my decision enough that he has never even asked again, infact the only time since then that he has smoked around me was when i saw him at work on his lunch break. I dont know, i think i am going to give him a chance, and see how things go.... but i would really appreciate any advice from any one else!

<3 Bianca

But would you date a guy who smoked pot?
^ the question is, would YOU?

Would you feel comfortable being around him knowing his faults. It's not easy having a boyfriend that smokes pot. Not to mention in the end things normally fall through. If you are willing to give it a try though then go for it. It's your decision.

Thanks guys! Yeah i think i am just going to give it a try, i think we deserve that at least. If things dont work out then they dont, and we will (hopefully) stay friends. I am kinda living by the 'you only live once' motto, and right now i think i do just want to give things a chance, i can always just tell him things aren't working out if they dont.

and Becky...why would i die? I am not really grasping the thought behind that.

<3 Bianca

That's good. I believe in chances too. But ofcourse trust and respect yourself enough to break it off if things get bad and you don't feel safe. I know you will, just a reminder though.
So good luck hun! =]
--Viola

I need help
im sssoo confused

* just wanted to tell every one on here thanks for your advice on this. Me and him are together now, and things are going great so far, my parents are going to meet him next week, and he is great. He told his brother and he is fine with it, actually he told him congrats. so thing are actually working out great. He has been awsome, and me and him talked alot about everything before he even asked me out. He is being so great aobut everything, including me being not as experienced as him in alot of areas. Just thought i would say thanx though!
!Bianca!