Encouragement... (please read)

Alright, I really hope this doesn't sound like complaining because I don't mean it to, so sorry if it does.
Everything seems to hurt, like I've tried to make the best of things, I've tried to hope for a brighter future but when so many things keep beating you down I just don't understand how you could manage to keep smiling and hoping things will turn out for the better next time around when theirs been so many "next times" and they've all ended the same. I want so badly to smile again....and it be real, instead of fake.
When I laugh I want it to be genuine instead of forced.
I'm so tired of crying myself to sleep at night because it hurts so bad to be alone, I hate dreaming because when you wake it feels as if its just a tease of everything you can't have.
Just once I want to have a happy ending..I want someone to stay.
This is my silent plea.

Please don't be mean, or yell at me about how I should just suck it up and deal with it, and I'm not accusing anyone its just I've had it done to me before and it wasn't a pleasent experience.
I just...I need a word of encouragement because right now Hope has never felt more out of reach.

Hmmm
i feel the same way hun.
but really just devote yourself to fighting the pain, if something feels good, smile, if somethings bad, cry. just let yourself go with the flow and laugh sometimes for no reason at all, just do what makes you feel better. you'll get a happy ending, i know it's hard, but you'll definitely get one. *hugs*

Hope has never felt more out of reach because you've given into despair. because you've given into negative thinking. yes, There's a lot of things in life that get people down, but the good things certainly outweigh the bad. you just have to find them. instead of "Hoping" for a brighter future, MAKE a brighter future. instead of dwelling on how all of your next times that have ended the same as the previous ones, look forwards to the next one around the corner. don't let the past destroy the present and the future. to often people focus on all the negative things that have happened and they neglect to think about the mamy wonderful gifts life has to offer. i could keep giving you advice until i'm blue in the face, but in the end it doesn't matter. only YOU have the power to turn your life into something positive.

^wow. i agree with that completely.
you are the only one who can make change your life, no one else has that power. look around and find the bright things in life, don't dwell on the dark, because if you look carefully, there is a lot of beauty in the world, you just need to go out and find it.

If you let the negative things run your life and way you see it, how will you ever experience the positive that life has to give you? All great things don't come easy.

If I let all my emotional breakdowns, and all that crap people put me through get to me, I wouldn't be the person I am today -- I'm not going to tell you to suck it up. I'm just gonna give you this piece of advice: Instead of trying to fight life -- EMBRACE it .

Thank you so much everyone, for your kind words of encouragement, I know I should be focusing on the positive but its hard when everything feels like its going agiast you, I finally found the guy I truly, truly love...and he ends up not wanting to be with me cuz he doesn't wanna hurt me or do anything to detroy the close freindship we have and it hurts because I wanna be his so badly...
I just want someone to stay for once instead of leaving...I'm not close to any of my family members anymore, my moms relatively close but theirs still a lot I wish I could talk to her about, but I can't...
I'm terrified of loosing one of my dogs because of some problems he's been having...(dog agresstion..barking..ect) (I love him so much, plz pray that everything works out)
and I know this is gonna sound cheesy but I just wish there was someone there who would hold me to tell me it was going to be okay.....

Have you talked to the guy? it sounds to me like if he REALLY likes you to, you need to have a serious mature discussion about your feelings. even though he says he doesn't want to ruin the friendship, if you both like each other then thats always going to be on your minds. eventually it'll drive you apart because one of you wants more than the other is willing to give and the friendship is ruined anyway. I've seen that happen. not to mention, some people spend their whole lifes searching for love. If it's already right in front of you, you shouldn't deny it. i'm sure you're mother would be devastated to find out you can't talk to her about certain things...have you even tried talking to her about these things? i'm sure whatever it is she would support you(obviously as long as it's not something life threatening..illegal et) a girl's mother is her best friend...treat her like one. and as for your dog..you'll get over it. i don't say this to be harsh, i know where you're coming from as i have to rehome my dog in a couple of weeks. and while i was heartbroken when i first found out, i had some sense knocked into me and realized that it's a dog. There's so many worse things to worry about than a pet. && yes i'm going to cry the day he goes. but i'll get over it. why? because life goes on.

Sweety, everyone feels this way at some point in their life. It's normal..believe me. Especially for teenagers..living in the kind of world we live today. You won't believe the amount of people that feel this way. I mean just look at all the posts in this forum.
Ok well there's a lot of advice I could give as well to you, but as Jenni said it is all up to you to change your life.

One thing I am going to say though is: TRY NEW THINGS! I know it sounds so simple and like it's not going to change a thing..but trust me on this one. Sometimes we hate life cause it's so repeated and there's nothing there that's new and exciting. We might have a good life that we're just simply bored with, or one that just isn't working for us anymore (or even possibly one that wasn't working in the first place). Trying new things will help you dicover what you truly love to do. You find new strengths in yourself you never knew you had.
I just came back from a leadership training camp, and some of the things you do there are definitely not things I would ever even think of doing in my daily life..EVER. Come to think of it before last years camp I didn't even go to any of these things. It was just school and home, and the occasional going out with friends ofcourse. But just taking that chance and trying that something totally different was amazing. Probabaly the best decision I have made in my life.
I had to fall back form a picnic table today and have people catch me. Never in a million years would I have though of doing that before. It would scare the hell out of me. But the fact that I DID..and it went well, makes me feel amazing. You find out there's so much more you can do than you thought you could.
Now I actually get to be one of the leaders next time we go there.

Experiences like that change you as a person an awful lot. Being around positive people who will spread that on to you. Get involved in things in your school, community, and even outside that. Honestly, experince what's out there and find what works for you. Another thing, tyring new things means you meet new people. Maybe the guys you are choosing to go out with are just not the right guys for you..I mean not the right type.
Change sometimes is intimidating, but it can be really good. So just get out there.

That's my whole speal right there. Sorry for the length. Hope it helped in some way though.
Good luck! =]
--Viola

How did you know my name...Am i being stalked...LOL

Double post

No, I don't stalk people. lol. I've just heard about you, that's all.

OO

Thanks...nice to know it doesn't sound cheesy.
But..I know I've chosen wrong guys before, I've never actually chosen a good one before, but Brandon seemed to be so much different...I'm terrified to tell him how I feel I mean...he's already told me why we couldn't be together, but it hurts everytime we do anything with eachother now because all I can think about is what could have been and how much I wish there could be an "us"

I would try new things, in fact my dream is to travel the world and have an adventure, but I don't really have any money... and I don't have anyone to go with...and...yeah, I also wanna get into singing but I have no idea how to do that either...
My main goal right now is to get Charlie taken care of and to move out...then go from there, take life as it comes and embrace it, but living had home has become a nightmare..I love my mom to pieces but theres just some things I can't tell her, I've tried and when I have she's either betrayed me in the long run (several times) or ignores me..or blows up completely...she used to be my best friend....but now she's only there for me when it comes to material things.

P.S. umm... "Secret Wish" I don't mean to sound disrespectful or rude in any way by saying this, but Charlie's not "just a dog" I love him a lot and I don't plan on giving him away unless absolutely nesisary...and maybe I'm just a freak, but things like that I don't just "Get over" with me, if I really love a dog, its not somthing I can just get over...yeah maybe I'm weird, emo whatever but its true...if you only new the things we've had to do to keep him even this long...

From your previous posts i'm unsure if he is aggressive or sick?

Well..he's agressive towards other dogs..big dogs that is (which is weird considering hes a german sheapord Husky mix) and I have a little chiahuahua that I'm not sure he'll get along with (a freinds keeping him for now until I can house him) but were hoping after hes nueters he'll be better...sorry if I came acrosse as rude its just I hate it when ppls say its just a dog because thats what my dad always says and I always hate it...sorry about that.