Young Engagement...

Well, let me go ahead and explain the situation.I've been dating my boyfriend,Ethan,for a pretty good while now.I'm 15 and he is 17.I've never loved somebody so much in my life and I've never met anyone that understands me as much as he does.We've had our fights and bickers but we've always worked through them.We've been through more B.S then any young couple...no...more B.S then ANY couple should have to deal with...Just to name a few:

1-My cutting problem
2-My alcoholic dad
3-His judgemental mom(who hated me)
4-Me developing lung cancer

We're always there for each other no matter what the situation.Well, we are going to get engaged next year and I was just wondering what ya'll think.So let me know.

<3Amber

Do you TRULY want to know what people think?

Yeah because honestly it doesn't really matter to me.I'm going to get engaged to him now and I'm marry him when I'm 18 and there isn't anything that anybody can say to change that.I'm just curious on how many people think that if you REALLY love someone that age is just a number.

<3Amber

Love coems to a person no matter the age. However, with this said there are may levels and types of love that one may experience.

My thoughts are...

1. Long engagements are good

2. Before rushing into marriage make sure that you (or anyone else for that matter) at least graduates high school

3. I suggest that someone al least completes the first year in college before trying to accomplish college and family. Both are demanding are require alot of devotion.

4. Do not rush or try to take on more than needed. When trying to accomplish many things that are demanding a person begins to get burned out and then all areas suffer greatly, creating not only more but also bigger problems than needed.

This is just my opinions.

~~Sher

Love doesn't automatically involve maturity, whether you can handle marriage cancels out any love to do there completely. if you're unsure, which you said you weren't, he should love you enough to stick around until you feel, or are old enough. a lot of young couples who jump into marriage get divorced wayyy too quick because they had no idea the responsibilities and new things they learn whilst living with their partner. so young engagement rarely works out, because they don't seem to understand the concept of waiting until they're ready. it seems so much more ideally romantic to them to go into something they don't know anything about. it takes a lot to stay together when you're young, but it also can take a lot to stay together when you're older, so to those their own i guess.

Sher, I do agree with you on all of that.Ethan graduates this year and he's going straight to college and I'm going to graduate in 2010(which is when we actually plan to get married)So I know that it will work.But thanks for you're input.

<3Amber

Just to see how many people see things the way I do.

Well, its not like your getting hitched RIGHT NOW. i mean, its a good 3 years until you'll actually tie the knot. at least, thats how i look at it, i mean im in a similar situation, me and my boyfriend plan on getting married when we're older [probably not 18 though, probably about 20 so that i can open up my salon with the help of gov. grants] but we're not going into it blindly, i mean im terrified of divorce so i am definetly having a long engagement, and doing whatever it takes to make it work...
thats my 2 cents. pm if youd like to talk more.
-danielle

Well to be completely honest...it sounds like you have enough problems as it is. You honestly do not know if this is going to last, the relationship.....I mean what if u do get engagged and all...and it doesnt last? thatl make it even worse.....but like...I thought you had to be 18 to get engagged?

I'm not really into young engagements. It's pretty much just the latest fad these days. I believe you that you love your boyfriend, and I believe that you want to spend your life with him. However, you're so young, and still growing, that your feelings are going to change (and likely not the way you think they will). There are so many complications that are going to arise, that it's a waste to get engaged to him now. Wait until you're settled in your life. If you're going to be together forever anyways, then what's the rush?

In my opinion, young people are completely belittling the idea of marriage by getting engaged 6x before they turn 18 and breaking them all off.

"4:My ability to trust"

Britt, I read your post and I don't see anything about trust? Did someone edit their post out?

What Sher said is honestly truthful. I agree with her 100% on that. Though I also do believe you have the rest of your life ahead of you to get married or be engaged. If you rush into everything and do it quicker what are going to be the fun and loving things to do with your boyfriend as time goes on? nothing? That is what happens with alot of people they get engaded at 16 these days and then they get bored because they have already did all the things couples do over years. I understand you love him I love my boyfriend too. We have talked about marriage ect but that is what we would love to see in our future. Right now we are just happy with the fun of being young without as much responsibilty. The thing is if you don't care what people think like Britt said why ask? because it seems as though you've already got your mind set. To me if your asking peoples opinions your questioning wether or not it is the right decision to make.

Ok well i know two couples that got engaged young and both of them are not together anymore. my friend becky was with her bf alex 5 years before they got engaged and they just broke it off 5 days ago, and my friend greg and nellie were together almost 2 years and just broke it off two weeks ago. i think its incredibly sweet but incredibly irrisponsible. i know that when were young we think and say and feel certain things, but you hyave to go into the real world and that when you make those big decisions.

Thanks Britt.

Geez people, it's not like I'm going to drop out of school to get married to him..
>>>>>>IT'S JUST ENGAGMENT<<<<<<
I'm finishing school.I'm going to marry him.I'm going to go to college.Then after I graduate there we'll start a family.Ya'll are talking like I'm going to give up everything because I'm a naive teenage girl that thinks she's in love.Yes I am a teenager but...

1)I'm not naive.I'm more mature then ya'll think I am.

2)I don't think I'm in love...I KNOW I'm in love.I'm not one of those girls who dates a guy for a week and falls"in love".I didn't even tell Ethan I loved him until we had been together for 6 solid months.I'm not in the usual teenage relationship that's on and off.We've been together for a soild 2 years.

3)I know ya'll are only trying to 'help' but I know what I'm doing so don't worry.I'm not throwing my life away.I'm just adding a very important person that I dearly love to it.

But anyways thanks.I may not agree with everything that is said but I do appreciate the fact that ya'll took some time out of your day to tell me what you thought.

<3Amber

I am not in a "tizzy".I understand what ya'll are saying.I just don't agree 100% because most of you are pretty much saying that my engagment won't work.Ya'll don't know that.It doesn't matter any how because my heart and head says that it will and they've never lied to me before and I know they won't now.

P.S-I'm already engaged.

Britt, I read your profile and you should understand how it feels to love someone with all your being because you're engaged and you're only about 4 years older then I am. So ya'll two will be married 2 years when Ethan and I get married.

4 years is a mahoosive difference, kid. It really is.

I would appreciate it if you didn't call me ''kid''.Age is just a number.

You don't know a thing about me, Britt.Just because you are a few years older then me doesn't mean that you have more life experience.

See that's my point in this whole thing.Please, just hear me out.I've had plenty of life experience and plenty of troubles.I've seen young couples get engaged in split and I don't want that but they were always so naive and neither of them really wanted it.They just though it would be cool to say 'Hey I'm engaged...'That's not why I'm doing it.I'm doing it because I know he's the one that I am meant to spend the rest of my life with and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it work.He's my life.Hell,he's the reason I'm still alive.When we started dating I was a very bad cutter and he helped me get out of it.I haven't cut ever since.He's my hero,my love,and my life.

When I say 'kid' I don't necessarily mean 'child'. But the way you're going about your 'engagement'... it's really not how I'd expect a responsible 15 year old to respond.

^That was my next question. Boo you, Britt. |:

:)

Hormones are like a rollercoaster. Expect a rough ride. I was engaged in the second grade.

Good luck. My ex asked me to marry him back when we were fourteen. I said, "What Mom. You're calling me?" an ran ;)

^LOL.

That's the way to do it!

And as for: "I was engaged in the second grade."
LMAO
Isaac you are a cow, I can't breathe!

Actually, a rubber duck.

The BOY you love now will not be the MAN you love later.

Everyone changes, you will, he will. Maybe less then 10 years of your marriage, you'll be seeing yourself in divorce court. And that sh** is expensive. (Not saying that this happens in ALL cases... but most. And if you do wind up staying together your whole life, you'll most likely be miserable)

And I don't care who disagrees with me, if you disagree with me, then you are just too young and immature. Open your eyes.

And btw, like I said before, this is only MOST cases, there are a few, very RARE, cases when you see happy endings when you get married young.

And if you love him so very much, and he's "the one" for you, why do you need to get married. Why can't you just have your love and that be it?

What's with all these children getting married these days??? Geez, you're only 15 and you're planning to get married. It's such a stupid mistake to make. There's no reason to marry him now, just love him and wait.

You already have enough problems on your plate. Adding the stress of a marriage isn't gonna help. But whatever. It's your relationship, getting married will most likely ruin it.

Peace.

>>>>>>IT'S JUST ENGAGMENT<<<<<<

Okay, sorry. Now I'm going to go on a rant.

JUST ENGAGEMENT??????!!!!!!!! helllllloooo?? what world are you living in?? Just Engagement.

You obviously don't know what an engagement is all about. It's not "just" some little thing in your life. It's your love and devotion and trust and almost everything that matters in your life. And it's "just" engagement?

That just really proved to me how immature and naive you are.

I'll see you in a few months when you come on the site complaining and asking questions about a DIFFERENT boy. You're just 15. Why are you planning your life NOW?

Tell it to her, Kori! Lol

And that's ((MY)) rubber ((DUCKY)).

(:

The one and only.

To the poster: You know the enormous difficulty you're faced with. In this day and age, young people are not given adequate support or lesson to know how to handle marriage the way they did in olden times. I suggest you take advice from anyone you can (not necessarily on this forum, but from professionals) and find someone you can talk to. best of luck and I truly hope it works out for you.

Thank you Kerry.And my parents do know about it and support me.

Yeah, Age doesn't matter. I just turned 17 and I've been engaged since Feburary. He's 19 and we're in love. And Congratulations. Good Luck!

XOXO

I was already to defend you and say good luck and everything but then i read

">>>>>>IT'S JUST ENGAGMENT<<<<<<"

Sorry love, but that is NOT the attitude you give something that is so special and important.
It's a big step, something that has lost it's specialness over the years, which is very sad.
If i turned round to Marcus and said, "this is JUST an engagement", he would break it off.
An engagment is something that affects you for the rest of your life, it's a life choice! Not a day to day whim!
I wish you luck but i also wish you would see the importance in what you're doing instead of treating it so flippantly.
*Gem*

I didn't mean it like that.These people are acting like I'm going to throw away my life.They act as if I'm going to drop out of school, get married,have kids when I'm not ready,and...get divorced a few months into the marriage.I'm not thowing away my life,I'm adding the love of my life to it permantly.

<3Amber

But...we are committed to each other that much and more.We're not making a mistake.I know more then 1/2 of you think that and I understand that but we can do it.That's the only point I am trying to get across.Just because we're young doesn't mean we are going to fail.We're not.

Why wait?If I know I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him, why wait to start the rest of my life with him?It's not just a title.I didn't do it just ot say "Hey guys guess what??I'm engaged!"I didn't say yes for that reason.I said yes because I love him.Another reason we're getting engaged early is because we both want at least a 2 year engagment so it works out perfectly with our future plans together.Please stop worrying.I'm not ruining my life.I'm not making a mistake.We are just going about our plans.This is how we both want it.Why wait another year?You say 'Why rush?" I say "Why wait?"It's just a different veiw of the subject.I just see our engagment different then you do and I understand.I just don't agree.

I just don't understand that if you love him so much, why do you have to make it legal? Just enjoy your love and what you have. This is something that you may regret later, marriage brings stress and strain on a relationship and if you're not mature enough your relationship will crumble.

Jeez, you're FIFTEEN years old.

Yeah i agree with above... ^^