What do I do?

"I had a bad past" - "I don't know if it's true or not"

kind of a contradiction, you obviously blocked them out subconsciously when they happened so you didn't have to deal with the grief. that's if they're real of course. you have to learn to deal and accept the pain before you can move on. i'd say get a psychiatrist and try and sort out your problems now that you are aware of them. nothing we can say can help that much.

Wait..I'm confused...so you say you had a bad past but you don't know if the flash backs your having are true or not?
It sounds like, if this really did happen, that you've forced yourself into actually believing that it didn't happen in hopes to poof the pain out of excistence as if the horrible incident never even occured, and for awhile it worked, but now the past is coming back to haunt you in flash backs and since you've fooled yourself into truly believing that nothing ever happend, you've forgotten if what is happening in your flash backs are really real or not?
Please tell me if I'm completely off about this...

^^ If you don't want your thread to be locked I'd edit your post...all cutting references are supposed to go in the sticky at the top of the page.