Results for the Alone challenge

The results are in and I would like on the behalf of Illum to thank all the judges for taking their time to help decide the winners of this challenge.It was so close. There is a tie for first and second place. Thanks to everyone who entered. All the entries were awesome.

Judges
Gary Jurechka
Sherry Lynn
Ben Thompson

Gary Jurechka was kind enough to give his views on all entries. Thank you Gary
The other 2 judges gave their views on their choices.

!st place went to
Dixiedaisy and Pearl Poet

2ND place went to
billy rob and Gothicvampyress

3rd place went to debbylynn

Well done everyone :)

Dixiedasiy

# 3 Alone (Poe and I)

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.
Still I wondered down beaten path
To taste the pain of loves true wrath
Wounded heart tinged with agony
Yet even then.. drank bitter tea
From tainted blood that fills the vein
A poisoned kiss from her I gained
No man- Not even death himself
Could claim the grief that I have felt
From mothers womb to beneath the stone
I lived this life... but I lived alone

COMMENTS:
I am quite impressed with this entry, however, like another entry this
piece stays very true to the original work, and again
unfortunately this is also perhaps it's only weakness-it is a bit too close
to the exact words (with some subtle punctuation changes). But this entry has a more detailed 'coda'. The rhyme scheme is a bit off in the latter section and the use ofof the word 'tea' seems a bit of a 'forced rhyme' and reads a bit awkward, but aside from that the added end part has some strong images, words and emotions that remain very true to the spirit of Poe's original poem and I am very impressed and
particularly struckby the stark power of the final line, a perfect ending.

-Gary Jurechka

Amazing write. I believe it worked off Poe's overall write the best.In my view it is a sad view of an outsider looking in wondering why he is so different. The wording of this piece just spoke volumes to my heart.Excellent write.
Ben Thompson

Pearl Poet

# 4 Edgar Allen Poe
Alone (Version Pearl 1.4)

Since Ill Omen lulled at the cradle of my existence
Destiny has dawned its animosity with great persistence
Paths that were parallel have become less defined
Enamored dreams with reality have never entwined

Empty wells within my heart by tides of sorrow did overflow
Prayers of mercy that no one heard have slowly sunk below
Boisterous love-sighs smoothed off into a parting groan
And everything that ever was I embraced all alone

Deluded memories of this beginning still bleed through
As Tyrant Fate tainted my conciseness then waved adieu
Now hues of Heaven and Hell shine in my abstract days
Currents of the Unknown anchor me to an elaborate haze

But beneath the lacerated mask hides the truth that I must reveal
The longing of eyes and lips that these hands try to conceal
From the unconfined whispers swaying and playing in my chest
to all the ringlets of fiery dreams that still keep me possessed

Gazing, past the hallow fields through the clusters of vacant arms
Above my awaiting cold vault around the long forgotten charms,
for I still strive to see just one sunburst hope within Life's crowds
But my Only World has suffused it's face with darkened clouds...

Revolving shadows of my demons were the creation of my own
And now, everything I have ever loved, I embrace all alone

COMMENTS:
This is absolutely a wonderful piece. Very unique in it's voice and form yet
still maintaining the meaning, the mood and the milieu of Poe's original
poem. This is an extremely articulate interpretation, though some may feel
it may be a bit too 'wordy', it is the use of vocabulary which sets it apart and makes it
so unique. While retaining the very spirit of Poe's poem, this creation is so fresh, so original,
and really stands out as something special. There is not a weak stanza or line
anywhere in this piece, the rhyme scheme is flawless, the images
are strong, the flow
is smooth and natural (which is testament to the author's talent as this
piece obviously took a lot of hard work and effort), the emotion very powerful, and as I already
stated, the language makes it the author's own while still managing to
maintain the tragic, romantic, dreamer, loner embodiment of Poe's ALONE and
succeeding in being even darker and more haunting than Poe's original. The ending
is superb, bringing an incredibly well written poem together in perfection.

-Gary Jurechka

This piece is more in depth and complex. It is written with tender care and elegance. The word usage alone adds to the challenge that this particular poet embraced. It is raw and yet some what innocent.

I was actually torn as which voice (inner voice) this was written and how to read it. That is what makes it so great. This one poem can be approached many different ways and have different meanings for everyone. I thoroughly enjoyed this poem.

The flow, style, rhythm, and overall structure appear as though it is near perfection. I say near because in reality there is no perfection.

Sherry Lynn

billy rob

# 2 Alone(my version)

From first I suckled mother's breast
As babies do; I could not rest
As babies did; I failed those tests
Of things she said were best.
From an aching need to do it all
Came heartache; I cannot recall
A childhood fondest memory;
Sadness has made elation flee
To hide in dreams eluding me
Laughing at how hard I plea;
To depths of hell my mind rescinds.
No care at all when this life ends:
From deep beneath, or clouds on high,
From rainbows hid by stormy skies,
From spirits nightly bringing stars
So close to me, but still too far,
Comes these clouds surrounding me,
Too dark and thick for me to see,
From darkened suns and bright lit moons,
From childhood dreams, dead too soon
(When all I had was not my best)
With demons now, I share my nest

COMMENTS:
This is a unique and strong interpretation of ALONE. It retains the feeling
of solitude, of wistful dreams and visions, of that sad aloneness that Poe
expresses so well. The author of this entry
manages to parallel very accurately Poe's original
work while using his/her (as I do not know the
gender of the author at this point) own words and images. The construction,
form and voice of this entry is superb. Now, from a technical critique,
the rhyme scheme is not always perfect (but neither was Poe's rhyme
of 'been' and 'seen' in the first two lines of ALONE, so perhaps
this can be overlooked) and I must question the use
of the word 'rescinds' in
the 11Th line-perhaps this is merely a typo of the word rescinds, but
if so the meaning does not quite accurately fit within the line (as
according to the dictionary sources I referenced 'rescind' means 'to make void,
repeal, vacate, revoke, reverse, cancel,etc.'), perhaps
a more fitting word for this line would have been 'descends', but then
that would almost make the use of 'depths' used earlier in the line
somewhat redundant. So that's a bit of a tricky area. Outside of that one
thing, this is a superb entry. Again, the strengths lay in the imagery and phrasing
and the emotion that is captured so well within this poem, capturing
the tragic, romantic, dreamer, loner aspects as well as Poe's
original. A very strong opening and filled with equally powerful lines
throughout. Most excellently
written.

-Gary Jurechka

Outstanding write I believe you nailed this contest on the head.As you remained true to Poe's form. you've totally unlocked the feelings in this write as it spoke volumes to my soul. Poe would be proud.. He was the ultimate outsider looking in. This was a hard contest to judge. There were many great entries.
Ben Thompson.

Gothicvampyress
# 7 Alone (rewritten)

From birth I have not
been as others would be,
I have never seen
quite like others could see

I could not bring about my passions
nor take some of my grief
nor awaken my heart to joy
from within me, like a thief

Then, later in my childhood
from all that's good and ill
drawn from a dreadful storm
a mystery which puzzles me still

From the brightly shining sun
from the torrent, or the fountain
from the lightening in the sky
From the red cliff of the mountain

From the thunder, and the storm
While the rest of the sky was blue
A cloud above me formed the shape
------Of a demon in my view------

COMMENTS:
What I first noticed about this piece is that the rhyme scheme
is unlike the other entries and Poe's original, which I find somewhat refreshing as
it still works very well in which the way the author crafted this poem. Though seemingly
plainly written, it definitely contains the vital elements of Poe's poem. It flows
well upon reading and while not as vivid as Poe's piece it nonetheless conjures
up some good images and captures the feel and meaning of which Poe
communicates
in ALONE. A well written piece.

-Gary Jurechka

I absolutely love this piece. It speaks high volume and just grasped at every inch of me. Maybe it is due to the fact that I know so many children like this, or just simply great poetry.

Each verse flowed smoothly and there appears to be no interruptions or breaking within the lines. This piece is so simple and innocent; yet complex at the same time. It literally holds the attention of the reader and makes them ponder. Many if not most can identify with this either through personal experience or by watching someone they know. That, to me, is what makes poetry and why this piece is so great.

Sherry Lynn

debbylyn

# 6 Alone (Now)

From dreary days I have not found
As others have-I ran aground
As others sang- I could not sing
My hopeless gloom was gathering
From all the Earthly joy around
My lot-intrinsic hell abounds
My mental chains forever honed
And all I dreamed I dreamed alone

Now- Heartache's furrows line the brow
Demon's clutches won't allow
My sense of self to overtake
Rise above all life's mistakes:

From being left alone to hide
From silent torture that resides
From wishes never brought to bear
On such a soul so unaware

From poisoned bottle's fatal hold
As liquid torture did unfold
From brief love's ecstasy denied
And the cloud that did reside

(When Heaven seemed at last to beckon )
With my burden left to reckon

COMMENTS:
So many interesting and well written entries
in this contest. And here is yet another. This has a strong voice and presence,
and again, like a couple of the others, this conveys extremely well
the tragic/romantic/dreamer/loner image Poe puts forth in his poem ALONE. This
has a natural, easy flow, a good rhyme scheme (though not perfect in a couple
spots, but then Poe himself wasn't flawless in his rhyme scheme sometimes). The
images are strong and the language, phrasing and meaning extremely powerful. The
ending is extremely powerful and fitting. A very well crafted/written piece.

-Gary Jurechka

A wonderful worded rewrite of Poe's original. You remained true to what was wanted in this contest. It was so close between 1st 2ND and 3rd place it is
amazing.This write to me conveys the ultimate sadness of the outsider looking in and longing for love and acceptance. A great poem.
Ben Thompson

Bob Shank

#1 Alone (remix)

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; nor have I seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I have not shaken
a heart for joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.
Like these books upon my shelf
misty reflections of myself

------------------------------------------------------------COMMENTS: I really liked this piece as it stays very true to the original work,unfortunately this is also perhaps it's only weakness-it is a bit too closeto the exact words (with a few subtle changes). What really impresses me and is the saving grace of this entry is the fact that the author adds an alternate ending. I've always loved Poe's ALONE, but like many others have noted, it almost seems like it was unfinished, it can be perceived as ending too abruptly. The two crucial lines the author added to the originalgives it a better sense of closure,
the ending fits extremely well without altering Poe's original vision and the overall meaning and mood of the original poem. A very well done and respectable effort. -Gary Jurechka

Poetic Genius
# 5 No Title

Before my mind could comprehend
The difference between start and end
Blackened ghosts and winds were born
To come creeping in my misty morn

When the half yellow sun began to sink
And childish thoughts no long could think
My sensuous heart did try to appease
This blackened life that took me by ease

Violets and lily-cups, in my dreams of white
Disappeared as shadows in a nebulous light
Sun altered, losing all semblance of what had been
And black and clouded is all I then had seen

When my demons embraced and obscured my view
And my gold tinted heaven turned into acid blue
Time's darkened hand began to destroy
The worn journey I walked on, a lone boy

Morbid angels dance in my sky, at free will
Till now they breathe, till now I am bound still

COMMENTS: This is a very well crafted interpretation. The rhyme scheme is somewhat simple, but that is not meant as a bad thing as it gives the piece an effortless and easy flow. Though perhaps relying a bit too much on adjectives, it does contain some of the most vivid imagesamongst all the entries (showing how adjectives can be the proverbial 'double-edged sword'). This work manages to retain many of the elements and characteristics of Poe's original. The ending is interesting and appropriate. A very well written piece. -Gary
Jurechka

I just wanted to say that EVERYONE did a fantastic job! This challenge was very difficult to judge as all of the participants are great and magnifcent poets.

Well done to all of you.

~~Sher

I am beyond thank full for Cindy the Judges to helping me end this contest!
Thank you so much!!!!!!!

Any time Illum ~Smiles~

Illu and Cindy....thanks for this contest! It was challenging and fun!

....and thanks to the judges for taking their time to give such thoughtful and in depth comments!