Older Man

VVVV i need help w/ a new question now. look at later post VVVV

Ok, i need some advice please...

so theres this guy, he's been 20 for a couple months, and i'm turning 17 in 28 days (lol im not counting at ALL =p)
before i continue, do you think he's too old? he's a virgin (cute) so i dont think its anything sexual he's after.

OK ANYWAY
i met him like 2 1/2ish months ago, and the day that i met him he was very flirty, but i didnt really start liking him until last night.

so based on what i say below do you think he likes me?

-he went up behind me and restrained my arms so i couldnt get away and put his head on my shoulder.

-he had his arm around my waist for like...20ish minutes and during that time he was like rubbing my side and what not.

-he was kinda a bully for a while (you know like boys did back in elementary school days when they liked you haha)

-he kept playing with my hair

-he was complaining of being tired, and i said "why don't you go home and sleep then?" and he said kinda shyly "i want to hang out with...people" as he's like staring in my eyes (might not be me but idk lol)

and yeah things like that
what do you guys think
and what should i do about it?

please give me some advice
please and thank you

Erika

It definitely sounds like he likes you, but what you have to decide is are you going to be comfortable in that relationship and are you mature enough to handle it?

He's not that older then you. About three years. I've dated older. I say go for it. There's nothing really holding you back, is there?

Yeah, i would go for it, i'm just so self concious. like..i dont want to make a move first because if he's just being friendly i'm going to be really embarrased. i've lost a lot of friends thinking they liked me and acting on it. haha so yeah =/ but idk..so if i were to make a move what should i say?

i dont think i'ma see him again til december 6th tho
because the only time i ever see him is when i go see my band friends
so yeah

help? lol

Sounds like he wants something from u.....it sounds sexual...are u sure his a virgin!?! his 20, thats kinda rare....and concidering that he just hitted on u fully like that (in a sexual way) I dont think his to old, but i think you should be careful, something doesnt seem right...

Well i highly doubt he'd lie to his GUY friends and tell them he's a 20 yr old virgin. i know its rare and doesnt seem too...real..but i dont see hy he'd like to his guy friends...thats just weird. because dont guys usually like..exaggerate their sexual things and not make them less. hha. yeah...-shrugs-

It is possible to find male virgins and just because they're virgins does not mean they won't flirt or play sexually. My bf was a virgin when we began dating, it is an admirable quality. However there are those who would exploit this and say they are virgins to gain your trust, just make good decisions and be careful, sounds obvious he likes you.

What is stopping you?

You know what, in my opinion go for it. If you like him and he likes you then go for it! I'm 15 (nearly 16) and I'm going out with a 19 year old who just turned 19, and we're really happy with each other. So what's stopping you?

The only thing stopping me is my nerves. like..what do i say???

Lols I don't think you really needed to ask whether he likes you or not lols Thats quite clear and no, I don't think he's to old for you at all lols My bf is 23 and I'm 17 *I'll be 18 in April lols* and so far it's worked out pretty good even though it's a long distance relationship.

As for you being nervous...lols it seems to me that he's already made the first move so just return it so he knows your interested lols I hate making the first move too so that always helps me lols

Thats not a *huge* age gap, thats kind of the norm for most age gaps, it's only cos you're younger it seems such a big deal.

My advice to you? Forget what the critics say and go with your heart.
He really seems to like you so all you should be worrying about now is how to tell him you feel the same (which should be a piece of cake =)

Good luck
*Gem*

I think something is there! I think you should see how he feels.

But remember, NEVER pressure yourself into anything.

I really want to say something. tell him, SOMETHING. but im so nervous. like i come up with all these things to say and stuff, or how to act and stuff, but when the time comes i freeze up. AHHH. haha. and im not going to see him until december 15th. by then ima be the big 1-7. ahah but thats so long from now=[ what to do, what to do? yeah if i wasnt a choir nerd i would get to see him dec 1st..-sigh- but yeah. ok. anyway, im babbling.

so how can i get over being nervous about talking to him/telling him how i feel
and how can i like..tell him sooner?
or try and get to see him?
or something...help? ahah
im so nervous around him
which is weird because i wasnt until last time i saw him
because i started to like him
AHHHH BOYS !!! lol
help please...

Because i was wondering if it was too much of an age gap as well. lol.

Theres really no age difference problem, but if hes over 18 and you are under 18...isn't that illegal?

Age is generally irrelevant as long as you are both mature enough to handle it. Sounds like you have a shot, go for it.

Ok ok ok. i dont care about the age thing anymore. lol.
so what should i say to him?
like..?
idk....?

Sorry i only read the first sentence because your 17 and he's 20 thats enough said for me. You cant give me a good enough reason that makes it ok to be dating or talking to someone that much older then you. That man can go to jail and if you care about him then you should prolly back off no matter how you feel because thats just not right. Personally i'm just not a fan of these situations because of the fact that you two are on different levels and you are just going through different stages in your life. IM not trynig to sound mean or anything im just giving you the advice that you asked for and im sorry i just think you should stick to with people around the same age as you...

Lols He's only 3 years older then her lols But there is the fact of him being over 18 and her being a minor but lets just put that aside k? lols

Anyway, as to your questions about how to act, talk to him, see him sooner and get over your nervousness lols You two have mutual friends right? If you do then ask them if they would ask him if it's alright for them to give you his email, phone number, myspace or anything like that so you could chat with him =) And don't plan out how to act or what to say lols Believe me, that never works and things never go as you planned lols When I'm around a guy that makes me feel like that then I just pretend that it's one of my friends or something like that until I'm more comfortable talking lols Or you could always just tell him that your nervous and that'll get a convo going without a problem and guys seem to find it cute for some reason that your nervous talking to them lols Just be yourself =)

Thanks=] yeah we had mutual friends, but they arent talking to me anymore. haha i have no clue why, he's the only one in his little group that still talks to me. i mean we are friends w/ a band, but i think asking them would be awkward. lol. but i am friends w/ him on myspace and i sent him a message yesterday saying hi. except i think i came off as retarded or something haha. and he didnt reply but he read it=[ but yeah. i have had a dream about him everynight since i last saw him. my dreams must like him too. haha =p

oh, and today i was thinking about last time i saw him. and i remember seeing a shooting star while he had his arm around me and i told him, but stupid me i didnt make a wish! haha. because today i had a daydream and instead of not making a wish i did and then it came true (lol obviously about him) aha yeah idk why i felt the need to add this paragraph, but i had to tell someone haha. =|

Sounds like you really like him. Go for it! That idiot that made the 'you're too young....he should go to jail' comment is ridiculous!!!!!! Is it really illegal somewhere if people are under 18 to be together?!
WTF?

I was thirteen when I had my first boyfriend and he was five years older, the next was eight...

Some people just get on better with older people. If you're nervous and thinking about what to say send him a text and ask him out! Thats a great way to do it...specially for the nerves.

Thanks ^. i wish i could end him a text...but i dont have his#. like a month ago i tried to hint that i wanted it by saying "why dont i have you number" and kinda like..thought it was a good enough hint to get it from him but it didnt work. lol

Dude, don't listen to anyone who's trying to tell you "there's no a way a relationship like that can be okay" because my two friends dated, one had JUST turned 17 and the other turned 21 a few months after they were together. They knew each other since she was 16 and he was 20...granted she was very mature for her age but they made a beautiful couple.

It just depends on the people, situations are different for everyone. Just a word of caution: always be careful. Although its not always the case that the guy wants sex, there can be a lot of pressure for that but I'm sure you already knew that.

Get his number somehow!

Lol. It''ll make things much easier.

Ok ok. next time i see him i'll try to ask. lol. i don get to see him until december 15th tho=[ but by then i'll be 17. but ahhh. im nervous about it and i have so long!!!! like..what should i say to ask him?
haha because last time it was kinda a let down.

Lols It's a known fact that guys don't get hints =P Gotta be upfront with them for them to get it most times lols And just ask him by making it seem completely random and like the question just came to that moment lols

Ok..well theres a new problem now. i dont know if its really a problem, but i need help. he deleted me off his friends on myspace. it shouldnt be a big deal, but it is. lol. i asked him why he did it and then he read the message but didnt reply. so i dont know what to do. im (hopefully) seeing him on saturday when i go to battle of the bands, but im not sure he'll be there. if he's there should i say anything or what should i do? i've been waiting for 1 month 4 days to see him and now i finally have just 2 left. and i need help. i dunno when im gonna get to see him again. our band friends are gonna be playing for at least another month. helpppp