How to resolve a problem, without knowing what it is...

Right...where to begin...I've been feuding with a friend recently. It's rapidly progressed to a very complex state. It began about yesterday, when he started going out with a girl, that both myself and another mutual friend dislike a lot. Ever since he began his infatuation with her, his personality changed a lot, he was more prone to violently different mood swings, and it put a lot of strain on all of his friends.

And now, finally, they've had enough. Myself and the mutual friend were discussing it, and somehow he found out, and refused to make contact with either of us. He approached me and said he was furious. I tried to sort it out, and he said he doesn't want any contact again, because he's too burdened with our problems. But I let him know that if he goes out with this girl, it's entirely he's going to gradually lose his friends, and lose the burden if that's what he wants. That we may not be there for him when he loses her.

He then became very irate, quite understandably, and says not to talk to him again until I understand all I have done wrong. I've explained to him what I thought it was, but he's not replying in any way. He refuses to reconcile. I've admitted my faults, and apologised profusely...but nothing works...so how do I go about getting back my friend, when I don't know what will make him do that?

People change, sometimes you have stupid little fights and never talk again and sometimes you can have a big blow out and still remedy the situation, but both parties have to want to reconcile the friendship. If he wants to be your friend again, he will, there is really nothing you can do to make him see things your way, people are funny that way lol Just give it some time and stay out of his relationship, it will only make it worse.

I had that happen to me a while ago, the whole not knowing what the problem is thing. All you can do is apologize. But not beg and grovel. You apologized, now he has to do his part. Eventually, he'll either come back and start 'being your friend' again, or nothing will happen. All you can do, and this may look arrogant, but pretend like nothing happened. Say hi to him when you see him, if he gives you a death glare, smile at him. If you 'kill him with kindness' so they say, eventually something will happen. Obviously he's going through something right now, and itll eventually work out. Whether he's still in your life or not at the end, well he has to make that decision.

If your a bro, you should suck it up and deal with it. Its his girl, what kinda friend starts sh!t over someones girlfriend. my buddys have had alot of gf's i hated i still sucked it up nd said hey and tried to be nice.