I threated to hurt myself :(

Last night when I came home from the movies with my boyfriend, I started to have this sad feeling again and just certain bad flashbacks. This flashbacks, thoughts, and feelings have been going on forever now for multiple reasons (I rather not go into further detail). But I actually told my boyfriend I was gonna hurt myself just because all of these thoughts and feelings held up inside. And of course, my boyfriend took that seriously and he tried to convice me that I did not need to do that to myself. and I told him that I can't go any longer having these feelings, these thoughts telling me so many things, I just couldnt take it anymore, and I badly wanted to hurt myself, I really did. He still kept trying to convice me, "Don't do it! Think about your family, you have a your brother, your sister, your mother, they need you, you need them. Think about your future, Think about me, if you really want me and love me, you would not want to do this, you would not. Why do you want to do it?". Then I replied, "I don't know". Then he said, "Then why do you want to do it, why?". Then I started crying and he begun to cry continusly. He was begging me to stop, to not do it. And I was telling, I can't, I just can't. And then he still kept crying, and I kept crying. I told him I need help. Then he insisted that he'd come over for a little while to talk to me face-to-face, support me, and convice me that I have no reason to hurt myself in any way. S he came over, he talk to my mom about what I said, she really didnt have much to say except that I should stp thinking that and that I need counseling. Then my boyfriend kept telling me think about my family, my future, him. And then he held me and told to just let it go, everything will be fine, I have my family, myself, and him, everything will be fine. So he finally conviced me not do it after a little bit. I just don't know what to with myself right, I just don't, it difficult, really.
There's no problems with me and my boyfriends, no terrible problems at home or with the family yet or anything. It just continus thoughts and feelings I have running through my mind every single day. Those thoughts are triggering me to hurt myself. Is it possible to feel so many negative things at once. I don't how long it is going to be beofre I tell myself I'm going to hurt myself again, and this time might actually do it. Can someone help before I end up dead and hurting the ones that I care about most. HELP NEEDED!

I know where you are coming from, but at least you have him to care about you. i used to cut myself and i had no one to help me. the only way they found out was because they snooped and read my poems and found one that hinted i cut myself. my grandma hates it. she says its just an excuse so i dont have to do things, or "poor old me" will have to cut myself. so she's not very..supportive in much of anything. but i've been going to therapy continuously for about a yr now (though i did on and off before) and i dont feel the need to hurt myself. i just write poems when i'm sad and write songs too. i think that you should look into getting some therapy, because it really does seem to help. i'm glad that your boyfriend convinced you not to. it's good that you have someone who cares about you that much.

another thing that i hear would help would be to right down everything you are thankful for in your life. and everytime you think of something new you write it down. that way when you are feeling this way you can take it out.

Cutting is not the answer.....but i mean i went thro it too but i had ppl who cared aobut me and i realize i didnt want to hurt them!

Sheesh. thats a bit rough ^