he's everyone's entertainment, but mine

Ok so heres whats going on... i went on vacation with my family leaving my boyfriend of a year to spend x-mas without me. i come back and have reasons to believe he cheated on me while i was gone. so while accusing him and breaking up with him he goes out with his friends and pretends he doesnt have a worry in the world while i sat in my room crying in my eyes out and not wanting to do anything, not go out not talk to anyone not eat nothing, i wanted to sit there and drench that pillow and just stare at his beautiful picture . the next day he started caring after his friends were gone and a night full of thinking. after doing all my detective work and finding out he didnt cheat on me i knew i couldnt be without him. so now were back together but i refuse to go back out with him until he makes up to me how he treated me in front of his friends. he treats me like im a nobody and wont even say i love u to me infront of his little buddys. hes been killing me, hes letting a year go so that his ego can shine infront of his friends. so the way it feels to me id that i come second in his life. it hurts, and it hurts even more knowing i cant be without him. a little help please?

thanks SpartacusDante, i have talked to him but hes not putting forth any effort to show me that its for the guys hes putting an act on and not me, but sh*t who knows with time everything reveals.

Snowbird apperently you've never been in a committed relationship and arent aware of the emotional bond which you subconsiouslly adapt to. loving someone and yelling off the top of you lungs for everyone and the mothers to hear and not having one do it back to you is something that can hurt you more then getting dumped. as for me giving him an apology i highly doubt it considering that i still hold strong feeling in my mind that he did cheat on me even thought my heart has let it go. love often causes a debate between the heart and the mind. and i think im doing everything i can to please both and i feel its up to him to put together the rest after treating "his love" as dirt and putting down my confidence and pride.

im not looking for an apology im looking for the sentimental things which show me its love for him and not just something to fill spare time or a void which i dont even know what it can be. i dont want an apology, looks like all men think the same. i dont want materialistic things or anything or the sort, im just hurting i want him to show me that love outside of a room which contains just me and him. is that hard to understand?

sometimes its nice to hear from people who have been in similar situations or even others peoples input on the situation.

kinda but it doesnt hurt having anothers perspective rite?

tell him how you feel and that you wnat his attention always not jsut when your alone.its only fair that he gibes you that. if he doesnt then maybe you should consider finding soemone who can love you at all times not just when your alone or there freinds are not around.relationship should be a equal display of love. good luck.

i never said it had to be the same anything, but there have been similar. ive told him everything which is up here, and he still cant seem to get it.

olivia-thats what i think too, thats what im hoping he'll get. and i think he slowly will realize it. but im being patient because no matter how many different ways ive rephrased it he still doesnt get it, so im letting him come to this conclusion on him own. and i know he will... eventually

SB- its crossed my mind, but were not really back together not til he gets it. rite now were just kinda hanging out. ya know?

hangin out after a year of going out....for love.. y wouldnt he?

i thought you were starting to get it, i give up on you and anyways im outti hes coming over gotta see what hes come up with

wrong theres love with hope.