I dunno what to title this. "/

You know, I kinda feel like I always fall for the wrong people, and when I say wrong people, trust me, it's the WRONG people. I always end up falling for someone who, in the end, I know won't work out. But I attach myself anyway. "/

With this kid that moved away last year, I don't wanna lose him, even though it feels like I already have. There are still a lot of things that were left unsaid because we never got the chance to talk or say goodbye. Even after all the pain he put me through, I'm still afraid to let go. I've thought about this a lot. And I think I'm afraid to let go because when he WAS here, I woke every morning and got out of bed just to go to school to see him. And I feel like if I just let go of him, I'm gonna let go of myself.
And the other day, he was talking to me online, and he was telling me how sorry he was that he let his reputation get in the way of us, of -what couldve been-

i dunno. .I'm just all jumbled up right now. :[

It seems like you still you have a lot to say to this guy and you need to figure out how and what to say to him.

Take a deep breath and be strong!!

Wilted:
This is ok. I've have a thing with getting with the wrong guys to. I've had one loss that effects me to this day. I let him go becasue I was lied to. WE did everything we could to fix it but we let other stuf come between us. I don't want to get close to anyone else becasue I dont want to get hurt, I got close to another and things are going down the drain, I havent talked to this guy in a few days. I want to end it but at the same time I can't let go.. I also think I will go down wiht him and never recover..

" I'm still afraid to let go. I've thought about this a lot. And I think I'm afraid to let go because when he WAS here, I woke every morning and got out of bed just to go to school to see him. And I feel like if I just let go of him, I'm gonna let go of myself."

^I feel the same.

Yupp, I have been through this && boy does it suck. But over time it does get better. It is hard to believe people when they say this, but you have to. Sounds like you do have things you still want to say to him, so if I were youI'd write him or talk to him whatever you feel most comfortable with and get it all out. You will feel a lot better. I hope I helped. If you need to talk, you can PM me. I am always here.

Thanks for your responses. :]

But I have talked to him. And he's said some things I needed to hear. But that's not enough really. .After thinking about it the past week or so, I've come to realize that I don't think simply having closure will help me let go. ."/ I still think about him all the time. And I keep having dreams that he's moved back, but only to wake up and realize it's not happening. And he says he'll be down for spring break; I'm excited, but what if something happens and that's all. What if he's saying these things with a "hidden agenda" or. .i dunno. I guess I'm just mumbling now. "/

But my point is. Closure isn't gonna do it for me. .

As much as I am in the same type of situation of not letting go of someone you love... I'm going to tell you some of the hardest advice I had to stomache and I still don't like it...

If they aren't going to come back to you, why beat yourself up trying to wait around for them. It is not easy but you should just try to get over him... trust me, I know it's not easy.... I'm still not over the girl who crushed all my dreams in the same effect.

I don't think getting over someone you love will ever be easy. "/ And I'm probably making it harder on myself by talking to him. He's been online lately, and we've been talking a little. And he says all these things. .things I wish he could've told me when he was still here, and maybe that just. .draws me back in. "/