Famil Troubles.

My family feels so. .broken. I mean, all the time, we're always fighting, and if we're not fighting, we're just not talking to each other. My brother and I have grown, have BEEN growing up. He's going to college after this year, and I'll be starting Junior year in the Fall. Everything feels so messed up, and my brother and I aren't close, but I kind of wish he wasn't moving, so I don't have to go through all of this alone.
I have a lot to deal with, may not be like the biggest problem in the world, but it's still a big problem to me. My family doesn't love each other. I mean, I really. .don't love my mom and dad. I may kind of like them sometimes. But for the most part, I hate them. And we're always fighting and arguing and bickering and causing such a rukus all the time. I'm tired of always having to deal with this. "/
sigh. I guess I just need someone to talk to. Because my friends, here, don't understand or are too selfish or are too preoccupied with their own problems. "/

I know what you mean hey?
family i mean u r always around them so u want that time to b a happy time not a sad time or angry time.
maybe pull your parents aside and tell them that all the anger in the house is making you feel sad and you dont wanna feel that way. do something nice for your mum and dad and that might make them stop arguing maybe. also if ur brothers going make him a scrapbook saying you'll miss him and stuff. do some things before he goes so u have gd memories. my mum left when i was 5 and it wasnt a pleasant time. tell ur mum ur glad she is in ur life and u love her. tell ur dad thanks for being there for you. maybe tell ur dad about some of ur other problems and he will feel a bit better knowing he nos a bit more of you. also with ur brother i have one too and even thou u grow up with them it feels like u dont know them at all but he'll appreciate knowing you care about him.
hope that helps a bit, you can reply with wat happens or if u need more help. xx

Thanks. But the only thing is. .I don't want them in my life. I mean, yes, I am sad for all these things that's happening in my family and I dunno how much longer I can cope. But it's all too complicated to explain. But I'll try to summarize it.

My dad accused my mom of cheating over a year ago on Thanksgiving. and the dispute has yet to be ended. They don't talk to each other anymore. But when they do, they talk with a cold, harsh stern tone of voice, while scolding at each other. And it bothers me. I don't want or need them in my life after everything I've been through and everything they've put me through. I'm just tired of the crap and sick of being the middleman. I'm tired of having to choose between them and both of them always trying to make me scold at the other. Which they haven't even figured out that I scold at them both.
There's more, but you get the concept right?
My brother can't wait to go to college, and i can't wait either. I'm sad my brother's leaving, but I'm glad he'll be out of this h-llhole. and I just gotta wait 2 more years, plus finish up this one. .

It's more complicated than that, to just talk to my parents. Nothing will ever be the same and that has been made clear. I don't need them to be all buddy buddy with each other and start getting intimate again. .I just iwsh they'd. .get along. .and stop trying to put me in the middle of it all. "/

You can't fix your parents problem but you can tell them both you are sick of their bahviour and you no longer want to be stuck in the middle, then ask how sad it is that you, the child, have to lecture them, the parents, on their behaviour. Mike is right, it can take a long time to repair something like this, if it can be repaired at all. It's sad they cannot handle it better and stop putting pressure on you. Look forward and do the best you can, you always have us to vent to.

Sorry, my rant ended up being longer than intended.

Sigh. I guess it doesn't even matter much. Because once I leave for college, my dad's movig to Canada, which is where his mom is living [with his brother] and my mom's moving to China, which is her birth place, and her mom is there too. The things that are going on with my parents are a bit more complicated than seems. [It's just that, it's not something I wanna shout to the world. ."/] And I think about the old days, sometimes, when my parents were at least straight with each other and neither were intimidated by each other. My parents are so controlling over my life and I feel like the only reason they're making me a part of their stupid problem is because I'm "all they've got left." I hate this, I hate everything about this. I feel like the only reason they're still together and living their pathetically miserable lives with each other is because of me.

I don't really want my parents in my life and I hate that they can't deal with their own stupid problems without dragging me into it. And sometimes they take their anger out on me. They don't beat me or anything, and this might be wrong, but they know I'll hit them back. .I've learned to defend myself, no thanks to them. They're so occupied with their little dispute and their retardedness and their pointless bickers, that it seems like they don't care anymore. I wish they'd just leave me alone, and out of it. I feel like all they ever do is try to compete for my attention, but I hate them both! Like every half hour, they'll be calling me and asking how the other has been or what they've said. And it's like. It's none of your business so leave me alone.

And even though it's too late for them to even try, my parents know nothing about me. And I feel like they wouldn't accept me if I told them. They never bothered to take the time to know me, until it was too late. And they judge me, and they judge my friends, but they don't even know who my friends are or even what they look like! My parents, agh, they're stressing me out now. ."/

I don't think my brother's like that. .He's in his own little world, completely oblivious to his surroundings. The closeness we don't share is something I wish we could have, but I see no point in befriending him now. I mean, this may sound stupid, but I have no intentions of getting close, since he's going to be going away in like. 5 months. or something. It's just something I wish I could go back to change, you know. But I can't turn back time, so I manage. But he think's I'm incompetent; he thinks I'm just some stupid little girl, and I feel like I already am a failure to him, and I have no intentions of proving him otherwise. I'm just. .tired. And I just wanna be done now.

I'm sick of this family and everything about it. There's so much crap that happens everyday. And it's just one step closer to pushing me over the edge. I'm tired of dealing with everyone else's B.S. all the effing time. I just wanna go to college already. "/

Hey yeah i agree with that u have to talk to your bro or you'll always wonder what might of happened and thats an annoying feeling i'll tell ya that right now.
when r u going to college? coz then it mite not b so bad if ur leaving soon but if its a long time see if there is a way you can arrange another place to stay for the timebeing. a friend? any other relatives? it might be good to get away and just clear your head.

I know what your going through...My family always fight about something..and its always stupid...you just have to keep away from it the best you can and just try your best to be better than them and work towards getting outa there...like your brother