All Cutting, self harm threads - post here #12

This is where posts about cutting belong, either experiences, helpful hints or just sharing...

and please do not disrespect this thread......the cutting I am referring to is self harm, anything other than that will be penalized....Thank you

I did give in a little the weekend before last.I cut my left thigh like 15 times before I finally regianed my control.I was so ashamed of myself for giving in again but then I remembered that somethimes you break no matter how strong you are.I forgave myself and my fiance' forgave me too.Hopefully, that won't happen again though because I've worked so hard to remain cut free.I don't want to back track.

My relapses lately have been worse than ever before. i have these moments where i search everything sharp edged in the house and then i jus sit there and use everything and make a mess of my arms. before i used to use pins, and id tear away at my skin til i bleed, and i found tht comforting, now i want something fast and with more blood. i found a razor outside one day walking home, so i took it home and used it. and last nite i tore apart another razor with scissors so i could use it better, and i ended up accidently cutting up my fingers becuz i held the razor wrong when i tore it apart and i thought id never stopped bleeding. im really scared tht ill never be able to stop now, or tht when summer comes someone will find out becuz ill have to wear long sleeves since i doubt the scars will fade by then. i go to bed with my arms burning becuz i cut them so much and when i wake up they still burn.

As of today, it has been 9 months and 27 days since I have last self-harmed. And to be honest, I still get the urge to relapse to this day. It's hard to block it out sometimes, and those urges can be overwhelming, but you just have to stay strong.

But NEVER EVER break yourself down over it afterwards. That makes it worse. You have to know that relapsing is just part of the recovery.

- Steph.

^^
you should be realy proud of yourself im glad to hear that its been 9 months and 27days i hope you will keep going on the path your on now...

i just cut today... and i stil want to right now... but i know that i shouldn't its just, i don't know how to stop again... if that makes any since at all

skylee

Thanks... the ice cube worked for the longest time but it just doesn't anymore.... a frined of mine saw my cuts and like he totaly freaked out on me. he knew i use to cut like long time ago but he didn't know that i started again infact no one did till now that is.. i just don't know what to tell him... if anyone has any advice i would love some...
And thanks again for listening

I have cut a few times ... but it just made me more and more angry.

Your friend doesnt know why you do or whats wrong now, im sure it bothers them that your obviously in pain and they dont know how to help. so tell him why and whats wrong and give him a way to help.

In my personal opinion there is no excuse for any type of self-mutilation. But there had been a point in time where I had reverted to it. Looking back on it now, I feel ashamed and embarressed about that point in my life.

The best thing to tell your friend is that you realise what you are doing is a mistake and that you merely just need to find more positive in your life. A lot of people i've seen on the depression forum find happiness through a boyfriend/girlfriend. This is great, but PLEASE, DO NOT LET THIS BE YOUR ONLY SOURCE OF HAPPINESS!!

As a teenager your relationships probably will not last happily forever, and if this is the only reason you prevent yourself from cutting, then you will revert to it quickly when things go south.

Try to find more and more things to look foreward to. If your friend doesnt by your redemption story, then just explain whats going on and life and just say you need a little help step by step.

Heh.
I don't cut myself because i'm depressed.
I cut myself because i hate whom i have become.
I am a Womanizer, a Cheater, i Lier and above most a Monster who has no right to feed off the air we breath.

I cut myself to ask for forgiveness from the ones whom i have hurt.
This one is for:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v281/digiful/P1010119.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v281/digiful/P1010179.jpg
My new girlfriend.
I love her, but i lied to her. So we are trying to get things Sorted out.

I'm having these feelings again an wat i mean by that is that im starting to get depressed again an i feel like hurting myslef like going back an start to cut again...dunno how or wat made me to want to start cutting....an its been 9 months since i stoped cutting...ya i need help!!!

I started cutting 3 months ago but then my friend found out and threatend to tell my mom. i promised to stop but i couldnt and then i lost my blades at school and i over heard the principle say that they found a tin of blades in the hallway(it was mine) but wasnt going to tell anyone and see if anyone would go for it. i havent cut for 2 weeks now and im going crazy, if only on last time.

Just did it for the first time since July about ten minutes ago. I'm weak.

Fff

I got caught by my parents and I dont want to do it again, but when Im REALLY upset I have an erge, adn since I cant cut I need some pain, and now I burn myself, to stop crying...It works.

I haven't cut myself since may of 2007... but i went through some terrible things when I did what I did... I over dosed on pills before I cut myself... I ended up in the hospital due to liver failure for taking all the pills... I almost died... and sumtimes i wish i had because i feel like cutting my self everyday.... It doesn't stop... and I hate the feeling...

I have a friend that is trying to get better and she was doing great, a whole month without it and she gave in. I told her it was all right but she seems to never think it is. I feel helpless when trying to help her but i still try because she's my friend and I'll always try. I have never cut myself, or hurt myself in any way but I understand why this happens. She tells me that she doesn't know how to be happy. But all I say is look around you, everything around you is wonderful and full of life. When you wake up be happy, it's another day, listen to music that keeps you upbeat, anything really. Lay down under the stars and just think of everything. Make a list of things that are good in your life or things that are bad but put something to make them better next to it. Look around you at the world, look only at the good things.

Just did it Thursday. Not as many as last Sunday but still.
I want to stop, well, not completely. I'm not addicted though. I just don't want to cut my wrists, cos my parents can see that. So my abdomen and thighs are in for some hell.

My friend had stopped cutting for ages and she was doing so, so well but then she did it the other night and it was my fault coz I got her angry. Now I wanna cut again too and I think I will but I feel so guilty coz I know my friend will probably be as upset as what I am now :(

Did it yesterday.
Can't stop.
:x

If you want pain that leaves no scars & isnt exactly like pain then theres something i discovered. its weird. if you get a piece of strong minty chewing gum and chew it then press it under you tongue u get this strong feeling like pain. the harder you press down n the longer you no it the more it feels.
rather random but i dunno.

anyways ive self-harmed but havent since before xmas. i stopped for well over a year then started up again in october. i kind of dont see the point anymore. it was never a pain thing with me, just a punishment n i liked the blood. I used to hit myself in the face lol, thankfully that was for a short period when i was 17. used to give myself cold burns with aerosol too.

I used to just cut...but now i carve things into my skin so it leaves a memory along with the scars....for me it helps. I see those things and it makes me feel like i dont want to cut anymore because i know how much they hurt me and i want it to stop.
It seems stupid to "cut" to stop cutting but when you cut as much as i did a few scars are better than a ton.

I did it for about 2 years, and i'm so disappointed in myself for doing that to my body...i look at my legs and i see the scars of my past and it just saddens me so much =[...but it's been about 3 years and i'm so proud of myself for stopping =]

Today i looked down at my arms and saw my scars. and it brought back memories. i have scars from 5 years ago that still stand out. please please please think about the scars that will be left on your arms. there will be a constant reminder of the pain you went through.
people tryed to tell me this when i self-harmed & i didnt pay any attention, i know at the time you really dont give a fuck about anything. but think is a moment of brief relief worth many years of horrible scars which not only remind you but you have to them up all the times because you now are so ashamed.

***** cover them up. silly me missed out cover!

I just wana ask...does cutting atcually work? does it make u feel any better? or does it make u feel like sh*t when u see all the scars on urself??

----- not being b*tchy or anything, just curious---
=)

Honestly it makes me feel like the worst personj in the world but im addicted and i can't stop...i need help!

For me, I get really agitated and edgy before, this pain that is unbelievable, then there's relief and then nothing but emptiness. It's very temporary. Sometimes it work, especially when you first start then it stops working. Just like a drug. It has a strong effect when you start then isn't as potent.

I have never done it, and I will never do it.. I honestly think the people who do it, are out of their mind. I dont think cutting is the solution, if you are really depressed just let our all your tears, that sometimes helps.. but cutting, thats just wrong.

I told myself I would never do it. Guess what, I did. Do you know why? Because of things that happened I could not control when I was young.

"People who cut or self-injure sometimes have other mental health problems that contribute to their emotional tension. Cutting is sometimes (but not always) associated with depression, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, obsessive thinking, or compulsive behaviors. It can also be a sign of mental health problems that cause people to have trouble controlling their impulses or to take unnecessary risks. Some people who cut themselves have problems with drug or alcohol abuse.

Some people who cut have had a traumatic experience, such as living through abuse, violence, or a disaster. Self-injury may feel like a way of "waking up" from a sense of numbness after a traumatic experience. Or it may be a way of reinflicting the pain they went through, expressing anger over it, or trying to get control of it."

You know what else is wrong? Abuse, violence, or disasters that one, as a person, as a little child, cannot control.

"This problem is not completely understood by health care professionals or psychologists. It seems to be most common among people who have been sexually abused as children, molested as children, or by survivors of incest."

That is what is wrong. Not cutting, but the sick people in the world that cause other people to be driven to cutting by traumatic experiences they give to them! So before you label something as wrong, take the time to do the research. Don't judge without facts.

Not all depressed people can cry. It is a illness. Guess what: We are out of our mind. We have a chemical imbalance among other complex neurological problems. When you really are depressed, really down to that point when tomorrow doesn't look like reality, when nothing can make you smile and there is NO hope, and yet, the tears won't fall, they can't, then come talk to me about crying and cutting. Don't ever tell someone that is cutting it's wrong. It's out of their control. Yes, there are better ways than cutting, yet that has to be learnt because everything and everyone that should have taught them, or protected them failed.

^^Well said.

I don't want to cut. But it's like an addiction.
You do it once you gotta do it again.
At least for me anyways.

I notice that a lot of cutter's, may stop cutting but they go to burning or inflicting other kinds of pain,some worse then cutting....

^^True, but some also find good things to replace that habit with.

For me i just kind of grew out of it. then went back to it when my life was difficult then i stopped again just like that. i dont know if i will ever go back to doing it. i have started having an urge to to it but so far i havent & i dont think i will. i cant be bothered with all the scars and marks. i just liked the blood me. i liked watching it run down my arm, i liked to watch it clot on the cut. those were the days, however i just dont feel like doing it anymore, theres no point in doing it for the sake of it.

Has anyone read a million little pieces by james fray? theres a part in it where he pulls his entire toe nail of n i nearly puked reading it. eww. i dont suggest you try that.

Eewwww!! that sounds just gross.
I stopped cutting in july of '07, but i just have to do it again...i did last night; took a pencil in my room and rubbed it on my skin until it rubbed off the skin. now it looks like something with thick claws or nails scratched me. >P it burns like a really bad sunburn, but i suggest you don't do it until you bleed

I was and Still Am A Cutter.

Honestly...I haven't cut for a few months and it drives me mad because my poetry Doesn't always help me. Nither do friends or those who I'mm forced to call family. it's sad To realize how badly I wish i could. Is it wrong? I Mean..When you have no one to turn to..And Do not wish to keep it bottled up inside...Is it wrong? Which is better? Keeping it locked up inside or Inflicting it upon yourself? I cut because it seems to keep me tied to reality.

It's Sad but Completely True.

And Well Spoken, Darkening Dawn. I truly and Completely Agree. I mean, yes, It is an addiction to some, but there are people who cannot cry. And It's sad to realize that people in this world aren't helping anyone by saying:
"Cutting is wrong!"
"You shouldn't do it!"
"You have to Stop!"
In all honesty, And from my personal perspective, I believe it makes the person wish to do it again. no one really realizes what goes on with someone. It's not the person who gave int hat's wrong. It's those within the outside world that drive us to the extreme. And It could always be more then one person, but everyone thinks that it isn't them. they think the person isnt Mentally stable and that's a lie. Many People who cut themselves are completely Mentally Stable. And The ones i know are, too. It's sad to know that everyone loves to Make fun of others and those who don't seem like they belong and yet they think that The person isn't right in the head. It's Pathetic on how many people don't try to see if that person needs help or tries to help. they just back away. honestly, this is why many teens never live past their teen years. In my personal Perspective that is.

A mentally stable cutter? If one were mentally stable they would not feel the need to cut themselves. Now I'm not saying we are all insane, but all is not well. Cutting is a choice, a person can push you, hurt you, enrage you, but you still make the choice to cut. Lots of people get pushed down in this world, they are not all cutters. People and circumstances may have helped me become a cutter, but I ultimately made the choice.

Very true, but not everyone that is a cutter Is Mentall Unstable. I Know That Much. There are Normal People Out there that cut as well. It's sad to think though that People believe cutting yourself means your mentally Unstable. If cutting is mentally unstable, Then Smoking makes you Mentally unstable too. It's Still self harm.

Note: This is just my opinion